Raising ungrateful teens isn't always what it looks like. Teens are wired different from anyone else. Sometimes they act like they are two years old, stomping their feet, slamming doors and just plain temper tantrum, then the next day they come in being sweet and helpful. It's such a confusing time for them as well as us parents. You never know who your dealing with. You almost want to ask them if you're dealing with the two year old or the teen. If your confused imagine how they are feeling, they are on hormone overload.
With that said some teens are just plain ungrateful. How did that happen? They have a mentality entitlement attitude, it's just how they are wired. The hard part about all of this is parents, you created these monsters. Don't feel bad, you just loving them and want them to have what we didn't. So why do you seem shocked when they act ungrateful? It's not just parents that indulge these kids, this Country is so focused on "being friends" and not parents to these kids and heaven forbid someone tell them no.
Teens scream and yell and slam things just to get what they want and they want it now! So much of the time they know if they keep arguing with you they will wear you down and they know eventually they will get what they want. They use what works and it usually does. They know that. It takes two to fight if you take yourself out of the equation they have no one to fight with. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Parents tend to change the way they parent as the teen gets older. They want to be their child's best friend and that just doesn't work. Just because they are young adults should not stop you from parenting, in fact it should go into overdrive.
Teens seem to expect to have everything their friends have and they have no true sense of what things cost.
So many parents find themselves in this situation. They are well meaning and loving parents. It seems that if the parents had a hard time growing up that the parents would want what was best and being their friend isn't what is best. So much of the time we overindulge our kids and therefore we have created these overindulged teens.
You can change some of these behaviors.
1. Stop the power struggle.
2. Stop rewarding them for inappropriate behaviors.
3. When you say no you mean no. You can't change your mind.
4. Stay calm and refuse to argue with them.
5. Your child has some great qualities. Praise them and reward them for appropriate behaviors.
6. Don't try to buy their love, it doesn't work.
Your job has changed from when they were little. Now your job is to raise loving, responsible adults. Don't bail them out of everything they get themselves into. Your not helping them. Let the try to figure out their own problems, then if they need help guide them to the right answer don't do it for them.
This is the time they need guidance but so many times parents want to make it easy for their child. They need to have chores to earn money. If you just give it out because your teen wants it makes it very difficult when they get out in the real world and they are told know about something they are not going to have a clue how to handle hearing no. Just remember this to will pass. We all thought the terrible two's were hard. You haven't seen anything yet. Get control now.