In today's world raising a child is a very tough task for parents. There is a never ending pressure on kids as whatever godly principles parents teach their children are in sharp contrast with what they learn from the society now a days. Parenting takes a lot of skill and patience. Research shows that children benefit most when their parents communicate honestly and clearly, stay connected, utilize resources in an effective manner, take more interest in their educational needs and development, keep open communication and stay educated on what their child is doing and how it is affecting them.
Here are few tips which can enhance your parenting skills and fulfill you more as a parent.
Never hurt your child's self esteem
Self esteem can be defined as feeling capable while also feeling loved. Self esteem is among the first few things that children develop as babies. Your tone of voice, body language and every expression is absorbed by your child
Avoid making loaded statements or using words as weapons comments like "you do stupid things" or "you behave more like a small baby than a grown up" harms your child's self esteem. Choosing your words wisely makes your child independent and honored.
Catch kids being good
Parents, if realize criticize more often than complimenting their child. Notice when your child is doing something good without being asked and compliment him/her by saying "I saw you helping your younger sibling... it's terrific".
Try to hug, compliment and show love to your child and you'll see that it works as wonder. Soon they will notice positive changes in their behavior.
Encourage social interaction
Children learn quickly and want to socialize. Give your child enough space to choose his own friends. Parents need to have an eye on them so that they know that what their child is doing and what kind of company he/she is moving around. Get to know their friends and their parents. Encourage
Parents who observe their children in play or join with them in child driven play have the opportunity to know about child's world.
You are your child's role model
Kids learn mostly by watching what their parents are doing. Parents are constantly being observed by their child. Studies have proven that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression at home. Parents need to respect each other and the child as well if they wish their child learn how to respect others. Teach him to be friendly, honest, tolerant and kind through your own actions
Consistency with your discipline is essential
Discipline is used by parents to teach their children about expectations, guidelines and principles. Parents, who are consistent and fair with their discipline, find fewer problems with their children as they mature. Child discipline can involve rewards and punishment to teach self control and increase good behavior. Set consequences for your child's actions and make him/her understand what you really expect.
Give your child your precious time
Your time is the most valuable gift your child can have. Kids who don't get attention from their parents act out or misbehave in order to be noticed. Leave your household work aside sometimes and have a chat with your child go for a walk or play a game with him/her. Create a special night and ask your kid to decide how to spend the time. It can be going to a concert, having dinner out or watching a movie together. Read to young children or let elders to read for the family.
Communication breaks barriers
Don't expect your child to do something because your want him/her to do as parents. Given your child a reasons and listen to him/her carefully to stop him/her from being judgmental. Turn off the TV and pay attention while he/she is talking to you or sharing something about friends or teachers. Tell them about your own work or financial problems and ask them to give your solutions. Make suggestions and offer choices and welcome their suggestions also.
Don't expect a lot from them. If they don't do something as you want them to, allow some more time and space. As they become teens they find other role models in their peers. Don't feel bad as you, yourself did the same. Continue providing them guidance and encouragement and allow your child more independence.
Be expressive about your unconditional love
Show them that your love your child even if they make mistakes. Tell them if they are doing something wrong without loving harsh. Avoid blaming and criticizing. Make sure they know that you want them to do better but your love is always with them no matter what.
Challenge your child
Challenging your child to complete small tasks make him more confident and responsible. It gives your child the feeling that he /she is an important member of the family. Give your child the chances to try new things, solve problems and learn from mistakes. Help your child in setting small goals on daily basis which will him/her to set a goal for life. Never forget to praise your child if he/she works hard for the goal no matter achieves it or not. If your child fails never make fun of him/her in front of anyone or even if there is no one around.
Provide your child healthy diet and hygiene
Give your child a healthy diet at the right time. Growing brains need a proper nutrition. Keeping your children eating right and staying active should be your priority. Make sure your child gets:
3 daily meals and healthy snacks in between, breakfast is the most important of them all
a good sleep and a proper routine to follow,
physical activity including exercise, aerobics or games,
do not allow your child to play video games for more than half an hour as it makes children physically inactive.
Make them live hygienically and you can do this only when you set an example for them. Proper vaccination and regular medical and dental checkups are important.
Work on your weaknesses
You are not perfect, no parents are. Try to find out your positive traits and negative aspects as well in your personality. Give yourself credit for loving your child selflessly and dedication. Don't blame yourself if you don't have all the answers.
Focusing on your own needs doesn't make you selfish. It shows that you are careful about your own wellbeing as well as your family
Spare some time for yourself and your spouse
Dealing with children keeps parents busy the whole day. Try to finish all your household chores early or set them aside for some time in order to relax, have a chat with your spouse or go for a walk to get ready for the upcoming parenting tasks. Never hesitate to get professional advice if you need it.
Parents from all over the world have different ideas of what is the best for their children. Differences in values results in interpretation of different actions, e.g. asking questions by Americans is considered a sign of being intellectual, Italians, who value social and emotional abilities consider asking questions as good interpersonal skills. Dutch who value independence, view asking questions negatively as a sign that child is not independent. In Pakistan majority of the parents are not familiar with the term of "good parenting". They treat their children in the same way as they were treated by their parents once they were children. Many recall how their parents made decisions based on their own experiences.
Mostly Pakistani parents are authoritarian. They set rules and expect for them to be followed. They in general are not very warm and affectionate to their children. Even they love their children but are very critical. Such parents give a very tough time you their child and they lack the ability to take decisions.
Gender discrimination is another major hindrance in the way of good parenting in Pakistan as in most of the families boys are given preference over girls. Due to socio-economic conditions of the major part of the population, parents prefer to provide better education, food and health facilities to boys as compared to girls.
Majority of the population is aware of what is meant by healthy and hygienic environment for children and for themselves. Children are not properly vaccinated or get their routine medical or dental checkups. Illiteracy and poverty are two main reasons for this lack of care and ultimately health & nutrition issues.