Generally speaking, babies are small. So why on earth do we need so much stuff for their needs? And where do you put it all? In this article I reveal some top tips from parents on how to store all of your baby's bits and bobs without having to give up your own bedroom to use as a storage cupboard.
Senin, 18 November 2013
How To Prepare For A New Baby Arrival
Many people wait their entire lives in order to have a baby but when it actually comes time to bringing the baby home, they are ill-equipped to do so. It is very important for you to consider everything that needs done before the baby comes into the house. This is not only important for the health and safety of the child, and is also going to be important for your comfort and peace of mind. Here are a few things that must be done before you bring a baby home, and a few that you should consider adding to the list.
Hey No Individual Told Me Babies Need to Be Toilet Trained!
Can't wait to say goodbye to the baby diaper? Have a baby who's not happy in a diaper? It might be the perfect time to unveil the newborn potty seat and potty trainer. When children turn one, they might learn to understand that they've got a full rectum or bladder. A few babies are all grown up and capable to begin training as soon as Eighteen months, others are not there right until after the age of 3. It's common for moms and dads to begin potty training a child when their kids are around 2 and a half.
New Parent Advice - How To Survive Your Baby
Becoming a parent is easy. For many people it only takes a minute or so. Less in some cases. But that doesn't mean that coping with the resulting baby is as easy. Here are a few tips on how to survive your baby.
The nine months or so of pregnancy are a doddle. Giving birth to a few pounds of human being is a breeze. The real challenge of having a new baby is when you get back home from the hospital, shut the door behind you, and suddenly realise that there's a whole new human life entirely dependent on you for everything. I remember that moment well. For me, that's when I truly became a parent I think.
The nine months or so of pregnancy are a doddle. Giving birth to a few pounds of human being is a breeze. The real challenge of having a new baby is when you get back home from the hospital, shut the door behind you, and suddenly realise that there's a whole new human life entirely dependent on you for everything. I remember that moment well. For me, that's when I truly became a parent I think.
Is Your Baby Monitor A Security Risk?
No one would deny the value and importance of using a good baby monitor. But are there any concerns parents should have, including potential security issues?
No parent can expect to be by their baby's side the whole time. You need your own space, you need to eat, relax, bathe, sleep. A good, well chosen baby monitor can help enormously, giving you an immediate heads up as soon as your baby starts to become unsettled or unhappy.
No parent can expect to be by their baby's side the whole time. You need your own space, you need to eat, relax, bathe, sleep. A good, well chosen baby monitor can help enormously, giving you an immediate heads up as soon as your baby starts to become unsettled or unhappy.
Helping Your Toddler Bond With Their New Baby Sibling
The birth of a new baby represents a massive life change for your toddler although it's difficult to always remember this, especially when we're the ones who have been up all night. At those times (if we're not too sleep-deprived for imaginings), it can be useful to picture OUR lives and relationships being suddenly and dramatically changed... Perhaps something a little like this...
Can Young Children Be Experts?
Have you ever considered a child an expert? This is usually not two words that you see together. After doing a Google search for Children experts. I found that the sites were about adults being experts about children.
One particular site that I viewed ended up being a site that had continual pop ups. Other sites were selling educational toys that adult "experts" were recommending to the children. This made me wonder if the "experts" were the ones developing the toys or if they had actually had any children's advice on what toys would be best for them. One site even had "How experts Discipline their children".
One particular site that I viewed ended up being a site that had continual pop ups. Other sites were selling educational toys that adult "experts" were recommending to the children. This made me wonder if the "experts" were the ones developing the toys or if they had actually had any children's advice on what toys would be best for them. One site even had "How experts Discipline their children".
Coping With Colic - A Guide For New Parents
One of the things you don't often find covered in ante natal classes is colic. It's not something people tend to bring up in conversation either, which means that new parents can sometimes be faced with an almighty shock. In this article I'm going to be looking at what colic is, signs to look out for, and how to cope.
Babies cry. We all know that. No one preparing for the arrival of a new baby is going to be of the belief that their baby won't cry. Nothing quite prepares you for the experience of a regularly crying baby, but at least there's usually something you can do to sooth them fairly quickly. Unless it's colic.
Babies cry. We all know that. No one preparing for the arrival of a new baby is going to be of the belief that their baby won't cry. Nothing quite prepares you for the experience of a regularly crying baby, but at least there's usually something you can do to sooth them fairly quickly. Unless it's colic.
Do You Know Where Your Medications Are?
With inquisitive toddlers and grade school kids who aren't paying attention, medication poisonings are always an issue. We've always advised locking up medications so that kids can't get into them, and while this is still good advice, a new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reminds us that unsecured medications aren't the primary source of child medication poisonings.
Essential Accessories for Outfitting the Baby Stroller
Buying a high-quality baby stroller isn't always able to give you exactly what you need. Sometimes you need to invest in series of accessories to help improve on the overall functionality of the stroller. Accessories for the stroller are likely to vary from entirely useless to the highly essential; therefore you really want to carefully consider the accessories you purchase.
Five Tips For A Less Stressful Baby Sleep Schedule
There is a new baby in your house, and no one is getting any sleep at all! You ask yourself, why is my baby not sleeping through the night? What can I do to get her on a healthy sleep schedule?
Selasa, 12 November 2013
Regain Your Nursery Floor Space - Storage Tricks And Tips
Generally speaking, babies are small. So why on earth do we need so much stuff for their needs? And where do you put it all? In this article I reveal some top tips from parents on how to store all of your baby's bits and bobs without having to give up your own bedroom to use as a storage cupboard.
Senin, 11 November 2013
Bedtime With Our Children: Priceless
After a long day at work or taking care of the children at home, and a pile of tasks still left undone, it's natural for many of us parents to want to rush the kids through bedtime so we can get back to work, or maybe just to collapse in front of the TV. It's easy to think of our children's bedtimes as another chore to be finished, especially when we feel pressured or stressed.
We all know that kids need quality time with us, and that reading stories to them before bedtime has lots of benefits for them, including instilling love of reading. We've been told. But it's not always easy to do.
Instead of looking upon kids' bedtime as another chore, there's another perspective that can make it so much more rewarding for us as adults, as well as for our children.
Think about it: did you work hard to become parents? Do you work hard to support and care for your kids? Do you realize they won't be with you for very long? We've probably all heard that. As many experienced parents will tell you, some days seem endless, but the years fly by quickly.
Maybe try this attitude: decide that it's going to be the best time of your day. Be ready to come upstairs when your kids do, and forgo the TV or chores for a change. Stay with them. Snuggle and hold them; breathe in their sweet scents and listen to their innocent chatter. Read stories. Do different voices for each character. Sing songs or ask them questions about their day. In a word, enjoy them. You might find just what you need: a reminder of what your life is all about; why you're working so hard; what's important. They'll give you perspective. They'll renew your sense of purpose. They'll bring you peace.
Take your shoes off and get in bed with them; maybe even put your pajamas on and fall asleep there once in a while. When they are grown up and gone from your home, you'll have sweet memories of this time, and gratitude that you did your best to appreciate the gifts given to you, despite the challenges and pressures. Then when you do return to the tasks left undone, you may notice a stronger resolve, a stronger confidence, and a reminder of why you're working so hard and what it's all for.
Obviously, this doesn't have to happen every night, but when it does, you may be surprised that you feel refreshed in mind and body.
Our children are precious gifts, given for a short time only. Let's do the best we can to cherish them. There will be no regrets.
Part of successful parenting is creating a warm, safe home environment for your children to grow up in. We at Just4GirlsComforterSets.com offer cute and stylish comforter and quilt sets to help make your girls' bedroom snuggly and comfortable.
infant car seat
Getting an infant car seat for your newborn is a must as you can never leave the hospital to bring home the baby if you do not have one. This is a strict implementation considering that there is a law about putting babies and toddlers in a restrain seat while they are inside a moving vehicle. This mandate of the law is truly a blessing knowing that the incidences of injuries and death of children can also be attributed with these lethal car accidents.
The question now is what is the most appropriate seat for infants? Here are the things that you need to know.
There are many types of infant seats. These seats' features and specifications will depend entirely on the brand and model. However, most infant seats that you can find in the market today can accommodate between 5 to 35 pounds. There are also those that can carry at least 4 to 30 pounds.
In most cases, parents opt for those that can accommodate between 4 to 30 pounds. This is because of the fact that it can accommodate very small babies and most often than not, babies that weigh more than 30 pounds are switched to a convertible seat in a front facing position.
What makes this car seat for 30 lbs. baby ideal is the fact that it can give him that optimum protection because of its orientation. We all know that babies under 2 years old must be restrained in a rear facing position for better security.
On the other hand, it is nice to know that 30 lbs. infant seats put your baby in a semi-reclining position so as to keep a proper alignment of his head, neck and spine. Considering that infants cannot support his fragile body yet, then this is a great option for parents knowing that their babies are given the best security.
Of course, most of these seats have an infant insert where you can put your baby for a more snug fit especially if he is too small. This also keeps your baby warm at all times; making him more comfortable in his entire ride.
There is nothing more important than the side impact protection. Always remember that your child's body is so susceptible to injuries and even with the slightest collision can be very detrimental for them. That is why; a car seat for 30 lbs. with side impact protection can keep his head in its safest position without compromising his tender neck and spine in getting injuries.
Aside from that, good energy-absorbing foam makes it all more comfortable for your infant. This is not only helpful when there is a car crash but most importantly during his regular day ride. Considering that having bumpy rides is never unusual, the energy absorbing foam absorbs as much force that will in turn, keep your baby's body in a safer and relaxing position that is free from shock and injuries.
Finding a car seat for 30 lbs. baby is not that difficult at all. You just need to be thorough so that you can get him the best.
best car seats for babies over 20 lbs
You must have been very excited when you found out that you are expecting a new member of your family. Perhaps this is one of the most exciting things you will ever have to encounter in your lifetime especially if you have waited for years to be blessed with a bundle of joy.
Like any parent, you would do everything to be able to provide for your baby. One of the things that you can do is to buy a car seat so that by the time you bring him home from the hospital, you can give him the best protection while he is inside a moving vehicle.
So before heading out to the store and get a seat for your baby, it would be ideal to know about the best types of seats available for your baby. This is to ensure that you are getting the best worth of your money as well giving him the best protection he will ever have. Here are some of the things you may want to look into before buying one of the best car seats for babies over 20 lbs.
Price - you need to consider your budget before getting one so that you can look up different brands sand models that you can afford.
Brand - it may not really matter that much considering that different brands have different strengths, it may be nicer to get those with known brands that have been in the industry for quite a long time. Among the known brands are Graco, Evenflo, Diono Radian, Britax, Recaro and many more. These brands have been tested and trusted by many parents worldwide for their excellence.
Crash-tested - it is sad to know that there are a lot of car seats that have been sold that didn't even go through or passed the crash testing with the Safety Standards authorities. With this, you need to make sure that the one you are getting has passed or exceed all the requirements needed just as so you can be sure that you are giving your baby the best.
Type of seat - there are two types that you can choose from that can accommodate your child that is over 20 pounds. First, the infant seat that has a maximum weight limit of 35 to 40 pounds and a convertible seat that can have 70 to 100 pounds weight limit. With this, you need to see what you think is the need of your child at the moment. Of course, you also need to make sure that the seat will fit your car. You can find a lot of seats that are compact and can fit small cars.
Safety features - since its main job is to protect your child, you need to ensure that it has impeccable safety features. Since accidents may happen at any moment, getting something with side impact protection, energy absorbing foam, anti-rebound tether and many more.
Always remember that when buying one of the best car seats for babies over 20 lbs. you need to prioritize the need of your child more than the aesthetics of the seat. This way, you can give him the protection that he deserves.
Like any parent, you would do everything to be able to provide for your baby. One of the things that you can do is to buy a car seat so that by the time you bring him home from the hospital, you can give him the best protection while he is inside a moving vehicle.
So before heading out to the store and get a seat for your baby, it would be ideal to know about the best types of seats available for your baby. This is to ensure that you are getting the best worth of your money as well giving him the best protection he will ever have. Here are some of the things you may want to look into before buying one of the best car seats for babies over 20 lbs.
Price - you need to consider your budget before getting one so that you can look up different brands sand models that you can afford.
Brand - it may not really matter that much considering that different brands have different strengths, it may be nicer to get those with known brands that have been in the industry for quite a long time. Among the known brands are Graco, Evenflo, Diono Radian, Britax, Recaro and many more. These brands have been tested and trusted by many parents worldwide for their excellence.
Crash-tested - it is sad to know that there are a lot of car seats that have been sold that didn't even go through or passed the crash testing with the Safety Standards authorities. With this, you need to make sure that the one you are getting has passed or exceed all the requirements needed just as so you can be sure that you are giving your baby the best.
Type of seat - there are two types that you can choose from that can accommodate your child that is over 20 pounds. First, the infant seat that has a maximum weight limit of 35 to 40 pounds and a convertible seat that can have 70 to 100 pounds weight limit. With this, you need to see what you think is the need of your child at the moment. Of course, you also need to make sure that the seat will fit your car. You can find a lot of seats that are compact and can fit small cars.
Safety features - since its main job is to protect your child, you need to ensure that it has impeccable safety features. Since accidents may happen at any moment, getting something with side impact protection, energy absorbing foam, anti-rebound tether and many more.
Always remember that when buying one of the best car seats for babies over 20 lbs. you need to prioritize the need of your child more than the aesthetics of the seat. This way, you can give him the protection that he deserves.
Selasa, 05 November 2013
3 Reasons Why You Should Get the Stokke Xplory Stroller for Your Child
The Stokke Xplory Stroller is known to be both stylish and highly functional to anyone who uses it with their very young kids. This is why the stroller is considered a high-end kind. It may cost a little over more than a thousand dollars but there are a lot of mothers and fathers who trust this stroller so they wouldn't it being sold at a high price. It's not only good at keeping your kids in check. It is also very stylish that one can't go wrong having their kids in this stroller while they are out for a walk.
Chiropractic and Babies
It is a common misconception that as a chiropractor I only can help those people with bad backs. When it is suggested to my patients that they bring their babies and infants to be checked I often get very strange looks. I know exactly what's going through their heads "Is it safe? How could a baby possibly have back pain? You cannot adjust my baby like you do me?" Of course these are perfectly legitimate concerns and worries and I hope to address some of these questions.
How to Never Miss Your Child's School Event Again
Okay, so don't hate me, but I rarely miss any of my children's school events. I owe it to being very organized, but I also designed my life to be this way, working freelance and making my own hours most of the time, so I can be around for my kids on a regular basis.
I know it can be challenging when both parents work full-time and there isn't a lot of extra time to devote to special field trips and volunteer opportunities, but you need to make time for this. Treat a school event like a work obligation, where you'll be called into the boss's office if you don't complete the task. You work hard to protect your job, so remember that your kids' events are just as important to the success of your personal life.
Here are ten tips to keep you on the straight and narrow:
Juggling family and work schedules can be challenging, but remember to show your children that their events are just as important as yours and you will reap the rewards.
I know it can be challenging when both parents work full-time and there isn't a lot of extra time to devote to special field trips and volunteer opportunities, but you need to make time for this. Treat a school event like a work obligation, where you'll be called into the boss's office if you don't complete the task. You work hard to protect your job, so remember that your kids' events are just as important to the success of your personal life.
Here are ten tips to keep you on the straight and narrow:
- Have a main family calendar and organizer that is accessible to everyone.
- Put all pertinent school dates on the calendar as soon as possible.
- Volunteer at the school. It will mean you are better connected to faculty and parents and more aware of special events and communications.
- Keep your calendar updated and stow information slips in the calendar pocket to refer to if needed.
- Speak with your children about an upcoming event. This will help you remember it and children will be more excited as event day approaches, and you will in turn be unable to forget the special day.
- Make sure you don't overschedule yourself or family members with too many events, or eventually dropping the ball will be inevitable!
- Use whatever mobile calendar, organizer or app you need to keep you organized on the go. I set a reminder for a couple of days in advance and then a second one for an hour or so before the event.
- Keep your inbox tidy. Arrange by thread or into folders so you can easily find the latest update on a school happening.
- Learn how to say no. If you don't want to attend, or there's good chance you won't make it to a school function, RSVP no. If it turns out you can make it in the end, you'll be a rock star!
- Be honest with yourself. You are going to miss something at some point in time. And that's not the end of the world. If you are around for most school functions, your kids won't mind if you miss the odd one.
Juggling family and work schedules can be challenging, but remember to show your children that their events are just as important as yours and you will reap the rewards.
Sabtu, 12 Oktober 2013
Baby Accessories and Furniture
When it comes to our children we want them to be safe and
comfortable. Every parent or guardian wants the best for their children
so many are going to want their child to be comfortable, relaxed, safe
and secure. Many retailers who provide children’s furniture and
accessories see this and provide the best quality equipment that they
can.
There is a huge range of brands and companies who provide baby furniture and accessories which are popular and safe. Babystyle and Silver Cross being two of the most popular brands out there. Babystyle are known for their brightly coloured furniture and accessories from prams to changing bags, which are all designed with the upmost of care and so that they are safe for babies and toddlers alike. However the most important thing to parents is that their child is going to be safe when using this equipment and Babystyle know just how important this is. Most of the furniture is fitted with the “soft close” device which stops children from slamming down lids or draws shut and causing injuries to themselves and loud noises. Most parents like the idea of having extra storage space too and Babystyle recognise this by adding extra storage space underneath cots and baby changers built on top of draws.
There is a huge range of brands and companies who provide baby furniture and accessories which are popular and safe. Babystyle and Silver Cross being two of the most popular brands out there. Babystyle are known for their brightly coloured furniture and accessories from prams to changing bags, which are all designed with the upmost of care and so that they are safe for babies and toddlers alike. However the most important thing to parents is that their child is going to be safe when using this equipment and Babystyle know just how important this is. Most of the furniture is fitted with the “soft close” device which stops children from slamming down lids or draws shut and causing injuries to themselves and loud noises. Most parents like the idea of having extra storage space too and Babystyle recognise this by adding extra storage space underneath cots and baby changers built on top of draws.
Rabu, 09 Oktober 2013
The Comfort And Safety Baby Strollers Can Provide For You
Based on the feedback online and from stores, baby strollers have been regarded as the best selling items for babies and their parents. They are also what pampers and keeps the babies safe considering their availability in almost all sizes, shapes and varieties.
In fact, you are able to choose a perfect stroller for your baby according to his or her needs and comfort level. If your baby is newly born and still small-sized, you certainly need supportive stroller to help you keep up with him or her growing conveniently and safely.
Compared with the past, there is a wider selection of baby strollers out in current market. You can choose high-quality and designer strollers to suit your child, in spite of its size. It also ensures that your child remain comfortable and secure constantly. That way, he or she can sleep better without any disruption.
The modern strollers have flexible and adjustable seat for ultimate comfort. Your son or daughter will feel more comfortable and cozy constantly. Its seat could be switched to manage forwards which means that your growing child will be able to explore the world easier.
If you want, you can also have the stroller having large rear wheels which can be sporty, has easy-swivel front wheels, which makes it simple to steer.
The unique height adjustability in the modern designer strollers allows babies to become raised for your level in safety as well as sound security, promoting interactivity and encouraging essential eye-to-eye contact. Most parents choose strollers which can be fully featured like:
Lightweight chassis to improve portability and easy movement Seat depth might be adjusted with padded insert allowing even smallest children to achieve the footrest
Adjustable Footrest
• Water-proof hood with netted fabric
• Modern, creative, stylish, and attractive design
• Adjustable Seating Height
• Light and simple to fold
Most of the baby strollers have Seat Rail Cover, Hood with Visor, Baby Pad, Shopping Bag, Mosquito Net, Rain Cover and Seat designed to become accustomed from birth up to 3 years.
Whether you require classic or simplistic designs, it is possible to find one for your baby's unique needs. Manufacturers provide special kind of bob strollers and accessories to deliver ideal comfort for growing babies.
If you want, you may consider going for baby joggers which are lightweight, durable, designer and perfectly safe for your baby. You can easily locate them in many combinations of your choice.
So, if you are searching for a stroller or even a jogger, you are able to easily locate them around you.
Senin, 07 Oktober 2013
Infant Car Seats: Car Seat 30 Lbs
Getting an infant car seat for your newborn is a must as you can never leave the hospital to bring home the baby if you do not have one. This is a strict implementation considering that there is a law about putting babies and toddlers in a restrain seat while they are inside a moving vehicle. This mandate of the law is truly a blessing knowing that the incidences of injuries and death of children can also be attributed with these lethal car accidents.
The question now is what is the most appropriate seat for infants? Here are the things that you need to know.
There are many types of infant seats. These seats' features and specifications will depend entirely on the brand and model. However, most infant seats that you can find in the market today can accommodate between 5 to 35 pounds. There are also those that can carry at least 4 to 30 pounds.
In most cases, parents opt for those that can accommodate between 4 to 30 pounds. This is because of the fact that it can accommodate very small babies and most often than not, babies that weigh more than 30 pounds are switched to a convertible seat in a front facing position.
What makes this car seat for 30 lbs. baby ideal is the fact that it can give him that optimum protection because of its orientation. We all know that babies under 2 years old must be restrained in a rear facing position for better security.
On the other hand, it is nice to know that 30 lbs. infant seats put your baby in a semi-reclining position so as to keep a proper alignment of his head, neck and spine. Considering that infants cannot support his fragile body yet, then this is a great option for parents knowing that their babies are given the best security.
Of course, most of these seats have an infant insert where you can put your baby for a more snug fit especially if he is too small. This also keeps your baby warm at all times; making him more comfortable in his entire ride.
There is nothing more important than the side impact protection. Always remember that your child's body is so susceptible to injuries and even with the slightest collision can be very detrimental for them. That is why; a car seat for 30 lbs. with side impact protection can keep his head in its safest position without compromising his tender neck and spine in getting injuries.
Aside from that, good energy-absorbing foam makes it all more comfortable for your infant. This is not only helpful when there is a car crash but most importantly during his regular day ride. Considering that having bumpy rides is never unusual, the energy absorbing foam absorbs as much force that will in turn, keep your baby's body in a safer and relaxing position that is free from shock and injuries.
Finding a car seat for 30 lbs. baby is not that difficult at all. You just need to be thorough so that you can get him the best.
Minggu, 06 Oktober 2013
Tips in Buying The Best Car Seats For Babies Over 20 Lbs
You must have been very excited when you found out that you are expecting a new member of your family. Perhaps this is one of the most exciting things you will ever have to encounter in your lifetime especially if you have waited for years to be blessed with a bundle of joy.
Like any parent, you would do everything to be able to provide for your baby. One of the things that you can do is to buy a car seat so that by the time you bring him home from the hospital, you can give him the best protection while he is inside a moving vehicle.
So before heading out to the store and get a seat for your baby, it would be ideal to know about the best types of seats available for your baby. This is to ensure that you are getting the best worth of your money as well giving him the best protection he will ever have. Here are some of the things you may want to look into before buying one of the best car seats for babies over 20 lbs.
Price - you need to consider your budget before getting one so that you can look up different brands sand models that you can afford.
Brand - it may not really matter that much considering that different brands have different strengths, it may be nicer to get those with known brands that have been in the industry for quite a long time. Among the known brands are Graco, Evenflo, Diono Radian, Britax, Recaro and many more. These brands have been tested and trusted by many parents worldwide for their excellence.
Crash-tested - it is sad to know that there are a lot of car seats that have been sold that didn't even go through or passed the crash testing with the Safety Standards authorities. With this, you need to make sure that the one you are getting has passed or exceed all the requirements needed just as so you can be sure that you are giving your baby the best.
Type of seat - there are two types that you can choose from that can accommodate your child that is over 20 pounds. First, the infant seat that has a maximum weight limit of 35 to 40 pounds and a convertible seat that can have 70 to 100 pounds weight limit. With this, you need to see what you think is the need of your child at the moment. Of course, you also need to make sure that the seat will fit your car. You can find a lot of seats that are compact and can fit small cars.
Safety features - since its main job is to protect your child, you need to ensure that it has impeccable safety features. Since accidents may happen at any moment, getting something with side impact protection, energy absorbing foam, anti-rebound tether and many more.
Always remember that when buying one of the best car seats for babies over 20 lbs. you need to prioritize the need of your child more than the aesthetics of the seat. This way, you can give him the protection that he deserves.
Like any parent, you would do everything to be able to provide for your baby. One of the things that you can do is to buy a car seat so that by the time you bring him home from the hospital, you can give him the best protection while he is inside a moving vehicle.
So before heading out to the store and get a seat for your baby, it would be ideal to know about the best types of seats available for your baby. This is to ensure that you are getting the best worth of your money as well giving him the best protection he will ever have. Here are some of the things you may want to look into before buying one of the best car seats for babies over 20 lbs.
Price - you need to consider your budget before getting one so that you can look up different brands sand models that you can afford.
Brand - it may not really matter that much considering that different brands have different strengths, it may be nicer to get those with known brands that have been in the industry for quite a long time. Among the known brands are Graco, Evenflo, Diono Radian, Britax, Recaro and many more. These brands have been tested and trusted by many parents worldwide for their excellence.
Crash-tested - it is sad to know that there are a lot of car seats that have been sold that didn't even go through or passed the crash testing with the Safety Standards authorities. With this, you need to make sure that the one you are getting has passed or exceed all the requirements needed just as so you can be sure that you are giving your baby the best.
Type of seat - there are two types that you can choose from that can accommodate your child that is over 20 pounds. First, the infant seat that has a maximum weight limit of 35 to 40 pounds and a convertible seat that can have 70 to 100 pounds weight limit. With this, you need to see what you think is the need of your child at the moment. Of course, you also need to make sure that the seat will fit your car. You can find a lot of seats that are compact and can fit small cars.
Safety features - since its main job is to protect your child, you need to ensure that it has impeccable safety features. Since accidents may happen at any moment, getting something with side impact protection, energy absorbing foam, anti-rebound tether and many more.
Always remember that when buying one of the best car seats for babies over 20 lbs. you need to prioritize the need of your child more than the aesthetics of the seat. This way, you can give him the protection that he deserves.
Jumat, 04 Oktober 2013
Promoting Active Lifestyle With Baby Strollers
Today's hectic schedules and active lifestyle need more variety than ever before. Unlike olden days, consumers currently are very blessed to have a wider selection of baby strollers in multiple designs, features and sizes.
So, whether you own an infant or twin toddlers, you will find there is a baby stroller constructed with you and your baby in mind. Comfort, convenience and durability are typical characteristics for most of the strollers and research carried out to find one that best meets your family's needs and activity level.
Most people now are searching for a product which works from infancy to toddler-hood and beyond. Such as the baby travel systems.
Often known as 2-in-1 strollers, rather than purchasing several things that are more specific in dimensions and only provide use for limited durations.
Baby strollers are available in various categories and sizes. There are regular size, mid size, tandem, side by side and jogging strollers.
Each style has its own advantages and challenges. Depending upon your level of activity, you will find there is a baby stroller to suit you and your baby needs.
Full size models are great for new parents of small babies with many things to carry and need full comfort for your little one.
Most come highly apportioned with adjustable features that could actually serve the youngest infant on the largest toddler too. But if you need more baby mobility, then this full size may be a bit cumbersome for your lifestyle.
Mid size ones are convenient for most situations and offer greater ease of use than the larger models. And they include great benefits such as shock absorbers for all those bumpy trails and room for bulky outer wear, cup holders, etc.
If your way of life is athletic, then your stroller to take into account is a jogging baby stroller. Its three bicycle wheel base offers a stable and smooth ride for baby when taking a relaxing walk or even a brisk jog.
Do you have 2 or more babies who have to be in a stroller? If so, I recommend double and twin tandem models.
It is usually a good idea to analyze the user manual that is included with your baby stroller for its best use and also to learn about any maintenance which has to be performed.
This way your baby stroller will provide you excellent service as long as you and your baby need it.
Kamis, 03 Oktober 2013
What Parents Can Expect From Baby Strollers, Car Seats And Furniture
One of the most basic purchases that new parents will likely to make are baby strollers. A wide selection of brands can be purchased with their individual characteristics, pros and cons. Baby strollers could make excellent baby gifts. Especially for baby shower or any other special occasion.
Some of the vital considerations being taken into account while getting a stroller will be the safety of the unit, the body weight, price as well as any warranty available. A great variety of them are available in attractive designs at Baby Stores. Some of these designs include single, double, triplet and umbrella strollers.
Baby car seats are specially designed for infants. This is usually from birth before the baby reaches 2 yrs old, when they can be put forward facing.
They are meant to ride in the car through rear facing position. A standard one can last from 6 to 24 months according to the growth rate of the baby as well as the size of the car seat. Some babies outgrow the infant car seats quickier than these.
The moment the baby has outgrown the car seat, a brand new kind designed for older babies needs to get acquired.
Baby car seats are available in several types, based on the infants age or weight. Infant and convertible types are for those weighing below 20 lbs. and are lower than years old.
The important factors being considered while getting one are easy installation, adequate restraints, belt adjustments, teethers, washerability and comfort. They can be readily purchased from baby car seat shops and online stores.
Baby furniture could be one of the biggest investments parents make while they prepare for their newborn. There are many different components of baby furniture needed so that you can properly set up a nursery for your child.
One of the main items is the baby crib. A great baby changing table should be having quadrils and safety straps to hold the baby from rolling off the table.
Another important item of baby furniture will be the dresser. A high chair is a vital item of furniture to ensure that the newborn is safe and secure during break and meal times.
Good quality baby furniture lasts for decades. Quality baby furniture - designed to attract all consumers and meant to furnish children's rooms and nurseries for newborns can all be found at baby furniture shops and online stores.
Rabu, 02 Oktober 2013
Baby Strollers For Style, Comfort And Convenience
Whatever your preferences are, the present market offers baby strollers in several varieties of style, comfort, convenience, durability along with a great mix of each at the same time. Because of this diversity, you will need to do some in-depth research on strollers before buying.
Most consumers now want to buy one multipurpose stroller that can last from infancy to childhood rather than buying products specially targeted for infants or toddlers only.
Baby strollers are classified into several different categories and also the easiest way to spell out these in terms of size:
1. Full Size
2. Mid Size And
3. Double Strollers
Full size strollers have become comfortable for small babies. It seems funny. However, the room in the full size baby stroller is perfect for holding not just a small infant but each of the associated items required for your baby.
Present day strollers are brimming with adjustable mechanisms that provide their use not just with infants but children as much as age 5 and older! But the convenience of each space includes a cost which can be tough to maneuver full size strollers.
Mid size strollers have become popular since they are convenient and easier to move. Since they are small compared to the full size models, the mid size ones can be utilized in more places as well as some uneven terrain.
They generally have smaller price tags at the same time. But they are certainly not short for the style and features commonly within their full size brethren: shock absorption, canopy, under baby carriage storage, etc.
Another kind of stroller with much style could be the jogging stroller. Equipped with a base of three wheels, they are equipped for faster pace motion rather than relaxed walking pace most four-wheeled strollers are designed for.
The bicycle-sized wheels around the jogging stroller deliver smoother movement and stability even though the surfaces usually are not ideal. Moreover, the baby is cradled nicely within the seating area with all the comfort you expect for your baby.
For your convenience, double or tandem strollers appear in 2 configurations next to each other seating or one before the other. The tandem strollers with one seat while watching the other generally have the back seat in the higher position than the front seat.
This design is supposed to allow both riders so that you can enjoy the view much like stadium seating in a movie theater. Both the side-by-side and tandem strollers have accessories which enable an appropriate walk to suit your and your child's needs.
For the greatest convenience in multiple-infant families, you will find triple and quad strollers. Although harder to get, these baby strollers provide for comfort and style required for larger families.
Selasa, 01 Oktober 2013
Comfort And Convenience Baby Strollers Provide
As our current situation stands, we as parents are better and hectic than ours previously. With effective lifestyle and social activities where infants are included, a compact baby stroller will be more suitable.
The conventional stroller or prams for babies makes their journey program may confirm being more of a stress compared to a comfort for parents regularly on the move.
With each of the included services, you do not need to bargain design for comfort.
Some time ago, there are no much convenient and simple option for the parents but soon it found selecting less sized more space for storage friendly lightweight stroller for baby. Whenever you need to compromise a few of the realistic traits, it is much larger and more conventional stroller.
Now with modern on the go parents in mind, upgrades in baby stroller styles have certainly come a lengthy way. They have progressed into more realistic styles which fit the lifestyle of modern day family.
As per the latest demands and tends, there has been wide upgrades within the styles of modern mild stroller. The compact types of these days have several of the same functions since it is much bigger version without each of the additional hassle. They are less heavy compared to the more conventional stroller program, but use a lot more functions as opposed to conventional offset umbrella stroller.
The height and width of compact buggies cause them to be perfect for journey and storage space. The most useful of the functions being your lightness of the stroller, helping to make for simpler controlling. Another element will be the capability to shop in the footwear without taking up much space.
Also excellent could be the cushioned chairs, which can be outfitted having a 3 or 5 point utilize system for protection.
Some even lay down to provide infants who will be not quite ready to sit up by themselves. Many offer mother or father containers along with kid containers.
Sometimes a concise and affordable stroller is exactly what you will need. If you like to journey stop a little bit, you usually need to cope with air-ports and protection.
A compact stroller would create everything perform just a little more better. There are many different manufacturers, designs of compact buggies to choose just about any lifestyle. You can buy a compact baby stroller at just $15 to around $500 or higher based on your own personal needs and wants.
The most important thing is that you want a stroller to be durable and safe for your child. Comfort is essential as parents do not want additional problems. Here I recommend light models as they are much more affordable and yet deliver value.
Sabtu, 07 September 2013
Celiac Disease in Children Can Damage Their Growth
During the first few weeks of life a baby is fed either breast milk or a substitute milk feed. Before birth all the baby's necessary nutrients were absorbed from the mother via the umbilical cord. At birth the digestive system has to develop quickly, so the new baby can exist as a separate person, no longer attached to the mother.
The baby continues to grow and develop at a rapid rate and soon it is necessary to start introducing solid foods. These will still be mushed up for a while, as the child has to grow teeth to bite and chew. The introduction of new tastes and textures of food are extremely important to the baby's development.
The rate of growth needs ever increasing amounts of nutrients if it is to be sustained. The child's digestive system has to cope with ever increasing changes in the intake of food. The system has to decide what is appropriate for the child's needs. This is the start of a lifetime of matching the needs of this new person to their intake of food for their lifetime.
If inappropriate food is fed, it is likely the child's digestive system will rebel, either through vomiting, or some unpleasant nappies to deal with. The immature digestive system has to grow and develop at the same time as functioning for the baby's current needs.
Once the young child is established on a nutritious diet suitable for their needs the parents should see a contented child growing well and developing on various fronts. New skills are learnt as the tools are developed within the child.
It is necessary for parents to be aware that there are times when the steady development and growth seems unsatisfactory. Various changes can take place such as:
An inability to concentrate
Irritability, or seeming out of sorts
Mental alertness and memory do not seem to be developing well
Some signs of moodiness
These sorts of lack of development are often difficult to understand and can be caused by many different problems. It is necessary to try to work out if there are any obvious patterns such as diarrhoea or sickness after meals containing wheat products such as bread, pasta, or pizza for example. Is the child growing and putting on weight at a reasonable weight?
A lack of sparkle and energy, which one expects from a young and fit child, needs monitoring. A normal bout of unwellness usually passes fairly quickly. If it seems to become a part of the child's day to day demeanour along with some of the signs mentioned earlier, it might be helpful to talk to the medical agencies and query whether there might be evidence of celiac disease.
As in adults, if the child has the disease, the villi in the small intestine will be damaged and the child will be unable to absorb the nutrients from their food that they need not only for their daily requirements, but also to ensure the natural development and growth of their bodies, organs etc.
This lack of absorption of the nutrients means that, whatever diet you give the child, it is being wasted. It passes through the body without being properly processed. This causes digestive problems such as diarrhoea, vomiting or constipation. The child cannot thrive without being able to use the benefits of the food that is being consumed.
If they do suffer from celiac disease, there is no cure, medically, but removing gluten from their diet totally, will enable the damaged cells in the small intestine to regenerate. So long as they remain free of gluten they will soon be growing and developing again.
It is advisable to have any concerns checked out before embarking on the dietary changes, because the tests need to be done whilst the child is still eating gluten. Once the cell damage is found, then it is time to change their diet.
I will be writing more articles on Celiac Disease in children in the future, as it often goes undiagnosed because of the difficulty in actually pinpointing the symptoms.
For more information about celiac disease, I have recently written a report you might find interesting. To download a copy for yourself, at no cost, please go to http://www.runawayeating.com where you will meet Dr-Liz.
In the report, you will also find out, why you could be lucky if your child has actually been diagnosed as suffering from Celiac Disease! You will also learn how to contact me, personally, if you have any issues you wish to discuss regarding Celiac Disease.
The baby continues to grow and develop at a rapid rate and soon it is necessary to start introducing solid foods. These will still be mushed up for a while, as the child has to grow teeth to bite and chew. The introduction of new tastes and textures of food are extremely important to the baby's development.
The rate of growth needs ever increasing amounts of nutrients if it is to be sustained. The child's digestive system has to cope with ever increasing changes in the intake of food. The system has to decide what is appropriate for the child's needs. This is the start of a lifetime of matching the needs of this new person to their intake of food for their lifetime.
If inappropriate food is fed, it is likely the child's digestive system will rebel, either through vomiting, or some unpleasant nappies to deal with. The immature digestive system has to grow and develop at the same time as functioning for the baby's current needs.
Once the young child is established on a nutritious diet suitable for their needs the parents should see a contented child growing well and developing on various fronts. New skills are learnt as the tools are developed within the child.
It is necessary for parents to be aware that there are times when the steady development and growth seems unsatisfactory. Various changes can take place such as:
An inability to concentrate
Irritability, or seeming out of sorts
Mental alertness and memory do not seem to be developing well
Some signs of moodiness
These sorts of lack of development are often difficult to understand and can be caused by many different problems. It is necessary to try to work out if there are any obvious patterns such as diarrhoea or sickness after meals containing wheat products such as bread, pasta, or pizza for example. Is the child growing and putting on weight at a reasonable weight?
A lack of sparkle and energy, which one expects from a young and fit child, needs monitoring. A normal bout of unwellness usually passes fairly quickly. If it seems to become a part of the child's day to day demeanour along with some of the signs mentioned earlier, it might be helpful to talk to the medical agencies and query whether there might be evidence of celiac disease.
As in adults, if the child has the disease, the villi in the small intestine will be damaged and the child will be unable to absorb the nutrients from their food that they need not only for their daily requirements, but also to ensure the natural development and growth of their bodies, organs etc.
This lack of absorption of the nutrients means that, whatever diet you give the child, it is being wasted. It passes through the body without being properly processed. This causes digestive problems such as diarrhoea, vomiting or constipation. The child cannot thrive without being able to use the benefits of the food that is being consumed.
If they do suffer from celiac disease, there is no cure, medically, but removing gluten from their diet totally, will enable the damaged cells in the small intestine to regenerate. So long as they remain free of gluten they will soon be growing and developing again.
It is advisable to have any concerns checked out before embarking on the dietary changes, because the tests need to be done whilst the child is still eating gluten. Once the cell damage is found, then it is time to change their diet.
I will be writing more articles on Celiac Disease in children in the future, as it often goes undiagnosed because of the difficulty in actually pinpointing the symptoms.
For more information about celiac disease, I have recently written a report you might find interesting. To download a copy for yourself, at no cost, please go to http://www.runawayeating.com where you will meet Dr-Liz.
In the report, you will also find out, why you could be lucky if your child has actually been diagnosed as suffering from Celiac Disease! You will also learn how to contact me, personally, if you have any issues you wish to discuss regarding Celiac Disease.
Kamis, 05 September 2013
Scheduling Some Unscheduled Time In Your Child's Day
Families are busier than ever, and that includes the children, too. Between a full school schedule during the day and all the extracurricular activities after school, when does your child have time for some down time? It's important that children have interests outside of school, but how much is too much?
Having a busy life is great, but the potential for over-scheduling is a real concern. You lead a very busy life yourself with work, family, and household chores. Keeping your child busy may seem like the best thing to do, but there can be too much of a good thing. You need relaxation time, and so do your children.
Over-Scheduling and Stress
Participating in tons of activities is fun, but it can also be stressful. Homework, dinnertime, and fun with the family are important, as well. If everyone is running in different directions, there won't be any downtime. And, when there isn't any downtime, stress starts to bubble up and boil over. Parents and kids both feel stress.
When children are asked to be on the go 24/7, they get exhausted and stressed. This stress may even cause your kids to lose the motivation they once had for the activities they love.
Busy Family Schedules
On an average night, your family may not get home until well after 6 o'clock. Then you run around getting dinner ready and the kids are headed off to do their homework. By the time you're finished with dinner, you barely have time to relax before going to bed. Then, the alarm goes off and you are up and at it again. This crazy schedule, repeated day in and day out, is hard on you, and it's certainly hard on your children.
Whether your children go to public school, private school, or are home schooled, they are busy with their schoolwork and activities and you're busy with your work, week in and week out. But the weekend is coming, so you will all just relax, right? Wrong.
The weekend produces more chores and errands. Your children may even have more games and more activities to attend. You find yourself running all weekend just like you did all week. When is your downtime going to happen? From the looks of it, not any time soon.
Scheduling Slow Down Time
You're great at scheduling all your activities, right? Why not schedule in a bit of slow time for you and your kids, as well?
Having a busy life is great, but the potential for over-scheduling is a real concern. You lead a very busy life yourself with work, family, and household chores. Keeping your child busy may seem like the best thing to do, but there can be too much of a good thing. You need relaxation time, and so do your children.
Over-Scheduling and Stress
Participating in tons of activities is fun, but it can also be stressful. Homework, dinnertime, and fun with the family are important, as well. If everyone is running in different directions, there won't be any downtime. And, when there isn't any downtime, stress starts to bubble up and boil over. Parents and kids both feel stress.
When children are asked to be on the go 24/7, they get exhausted and stressed. This stress may even cause your kids to lose the motivation they once had for the activities they love.
Busy Family Schedules
On an average night, your family may not get home until well after 6 o'clock. Then you run around getting dinner ready and the kids are headed off to do their homework. By the time you're finished with dinner, you barely have time to relax before going to bed. Then, the alarm goes off and you are up and at it again. This crazy schedule, repeated day in and day out, is hard on you, and it's certainly hard on your children.
Whether your children go to public school, private school, or are home schooled, they are busy with their schoolwork and activities and you're busy with your work, week in and week out. But the weekend is coming, so you will all just relax, right? Wrong.
The weekend produces more chores and errands. Your children may even have more games and more activities to attend. You find yourself running all weekend just like you did all week. When is your downtime going to happen? From the looks of it, not any time soon.
Scheduling Slow Down Time
You're great at scheduling all your activities, right? Why not schedule in a bit of slow time for you and your kids, as well?
Rabu, 04 September 2013
Parenting - Pakistan Recap, Simple Tips to Deal With a Rather Difficult Problem of Parenting
In today's world raising a child is a very tough task for parents. There is a never ending pressure on kids as whatever godly principles parents teach their children are in sharp contrast with what they learn from the society now a days. Parenting takes a lot of skill and patience. Research shows that children benefit most when their parents communicate honestly and clearly, stay connected, utilize resources in an effective manner, take more interest in their educational needs and development, keep open communication and stay educated on what their child is doing and how it is affecting them.
Here are few tips which can enhance your parenting skills and fulfill you more as a parent.
Never hurt your child's self esteem
Self esteem can be defined as feeling capable while also feeling loved. Self esteem is among the first few things that children develop as babies. Your tone of voice, body language and every expression is absorbed by your child
Avoid making loaded statements or using words as weapons comments like "you do stupid things" or "you behave more like a small baby than a grown up" harms your child's self esteem. Choosing your words wisely makes your child independent and honored.
Catch kids being good
Parents, if realize criticize more often than complimenting their child. Notice when your child is doing something good without being asked and compliment him/her by saying "I saw you helping your younger sibling... it's terrific".
Try to hug, compliment and show love to your child and you'll see that it works as wonder. Soon they will notice positive changes in their behavior.
Encourage social interaction
Children learn quickly and want to socialize. Give your child enough space to choose his own friends. Parents need to have an eye on them so that they know that what their child is doing and what kind of company he/she is moving around. Get to know their friends and their parents. Encourage
Parents who observe their children in play or join with them in child driven play have the opportunity to know about child's world.
You are your child's role model
Kids learn mostly by watching what their parents are doing. Parents are constantly being observed by their child. Studies have proven that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression at home. Parents need to respect each other and the child as well if they wish their child learn how to respect others. Teach him to be friendly, honest, tolerant and kind through your own actions
Consistency with your discipline is essential
Discipline is used by parents to teach their children about expectations, guidelines and principles. Parents, who are consistent and fair with their discipline, find fewer problems with their children as they mature. Child discipline can involve rewards and punishment to teach self control and increase good behavior. Set consequences for your child's actions and make him/her understand what you really expect.
Give your child your precious time
Your time is the most valuable gift your child can have. Kids who don't get attention from their parents act out or misbehave in order to be noticed. Leave your household work aside sometimes and have a chat with your child go for a walk or play a game with him/her. Create a special night and ask your kid to decide how to spend the time. It can be going to a concert, having dinner out or watching a movie together. Read to young children or let elders to read for the family.
Communication breaks barriers
Don't expect your child to do something because your want him/her to do as parents. Given your child a reasons and listen to him/her carefully to stop him/her from being judgmental. Turn off the TV and pay attention while he/she is talking to you or sharing something about friends or teachers. Tell them about your own work or financial problems and ask them to give your solutions. Make suggestions and offer choices and welcome their suggestions also.
Be flexible
Don't expect a lot from them. If they don't do something as you want them to, allow some more time and space. As they become teens they find other role models in their peers. Don't feel bad as you, yourself did the same. Continue providing them guidance and encouragement and allow your child more independence.
Be expressive about your unconditional love
Show them that your love your child even if they make mistakes. Tell them if they are doing something wrong without loving harsh. Avoid blaming and criticizing. Make sure they know that you want them to do better but your love is always with them no matter what.
Challenge your child
Challenging your child to complete small tasks make him more confident and responsible. It gives your child the feeling that he /she is an important member of the family. Give your child the chances to try new things, solve problems and learn from mistakes. Help your child in setting small goals on daily basis which will him/her to set a goal for life. Never forget to praise your child if he/she works hard for the goal no matter achieves it or not. If your child fails never make fun of him/her in front of anyone or even if there is no one around.
Provide your child healthy diet and hygiene
Give your child a healthy diet at the right time. Growing brains need a proper nutrition. Keeping your children eating right and staying active should be your priority. Make sure your child gets:
3 daily meals and healthy snacks in between, breakfast is the most important of them all
a good sleep and a proper routine to follow,
physical activity including exercise, aerobics or games,
do not allow your child to play video games for more than half an hour as it makes children physically inactive.
Make them live hygienically and you can do this only when you set an example for them. Proper vaccination and regular medical and dental checkups are important.
Work on your weaknesses
You are not perfect, no parents are. Try to find out your positive traits and negative aspects as well in your personality. Give yourself credit for loving your child selflessly and dedication. Don't blame yourself if you don't have all the answers.
Focusing on your own needs doesn't make you selfish. It shows that you are careful about your own wellbeing as well as your family
Spare some time for yourself and your spouse
Dealing with children keeps parents busy the whole day. Try to finish all your household chores early or set them aside for some time in order to relax, have a chat with your spouse or go for a walk to get ready for the upcoming parenting tasks. Never hesitate to get professional advice if you need it.
Parents from all over the world have different ideas of what is the best for their children. Differences in values results in interpretation of different actions, e.g. asking questions by Americans is considered a sign of being intellectual, Italians, who value social and emotional abilities consider asking questions as good interpersonal skills. Dutch who value independence, view asking questions negatively as a sign that child is not independent. In Pakistan majority of the parents are not familiar with the term of "good parenting". They treat their children in the same way as they were treated by their parents once they were children. Many recall how their parents made decisions based on their own experiences.
Mostly Pakistani parents are authoritarian. They set rules and expect for them to be followed. They in general are not very warm and affectionate to their children. Even they love their children but are very critical. Such parents give a very tough time you their child and they lack the ability to take decisions.
Gender discrimination is another major hindrance in the way of good parenting in Pakistan as in most of the families boys are given preference over girls. Due to socio-economic conditions of the major part of the population, parents prefer to provide better education, food and health facilities to boys as compared to girls.
Majority of the population is aware of what is meant by healthy and hygienic environment for children and for themselves. Children are not properly vaccinated or get their routine medical or dental checkups. Illiteracy and poverty are two main reasons for this lack of care and ultimately health & nutrition issues.
Here are few tips which can enhance your parenting skills and fulfill you more as a parent.
Never hurt your child's self esteem
Self esteem can be defined as feeling capable while also feeling loved. Self esteem is among the first few things that children develop as babies. Your tone of voice, body language and every expression is absorbed by your child
Avoid making loaded statements or using words as weapons comments like "you do stupid things" or "you behave more like a small baby than a grown up" harms your child's self esteem. Choosing your words wisely makes your child independent and honored.
Catch kids being good
Parents, if realize criticize more often than complimenting their child. Notice when your child is doing something good without being asked and compliment him/her by saying "I saw you helping your younger sibling... it's terrific".
Try to hug, compliment and show love to your child and you'll see that it works as wonder. Soon they will notice positive changes in their behavior.
Encourage social interaction
Children learn quickly and want to socialize. Give your child enough space to choose his own friends. Parents need to have an eye on them so that they know that what their child is doing and what kind of company he/she is moving around. Get to know their friends and their parents. Encourage
Parents who observe their children in play or join with them in child driven play have the opportunity to know about child's world.
You are your child's role model
Kids learn mostly by watching what their parents are doing. Parents are constantly being observed by their child. Studies have proven that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression at home. Parents need to respect each other and the child as well if they wish their child learn how to respect others. Teach him to be friendly, honest, tolerant and kind through your own actions
Consistency with your discipline is essential
Discipline is used by parents to teach their children about expectations, guidelines and principles. Parents, who are consistent and fair with their discipline, find fewer problems with their children as they mature. Child discipline can involve rewards and punishment to teach self control and increase good behavior. Set consequences for your child's actions and make him/her understand what you really expect.
Give your child your precious time
Your time is the most valuable gift your child can have. Kids who don't get attention from their parents act out or misbehave in order to be noticed. Leave your household work aside sometimes and have a chat with your child go for a walk or play a game with him/her. Create a special night and ask your kid to decide how to spend the time. It can be going to a concert, having dinner out or watching a movie together. Read to young children or let elders to read for the family.
Communication breaks barriers
Don't expect your child to do something because your want him/her to do as parents. Given your child a reasons and listen to him/her carefully to stop him/her from being judgmental. Turn off the TV and pay attention while he/she is talking to you or sharing something about friends or teachers. Tell them about your own work or financial problems and ask them to give your solutions. Make suggestions and offer choices and welcome their suggestions also.
Be flexible
Don't expect a lot from them. If they don't do something as you want them to, allow some more time and space. As they become teens they find other role models in their peers. Don't feel bad as you, yourself did the same. Continue providing them guidance and encouragement and allow your child more independence.
Be expressive about your unconditional love
Show them that your love your child even if they make mistakes. Tell them if they are doing something wrong without loving harsh. Avoid blaming and criticizing. Make sure they know that you want them to do better but your love is always with them no matter what.
Challenge your child
Challenging your child to complete small tasks make him more confident and responsible. It gives your child the feeling that he /she is an important member of the family. Give your child the chances to try new things, solve problems and learn from mistakes. Help your child in setting small goals on daily basis which will him/her to set a goal for life. Never forget to praise your child if he/she works hard for the goal no matter achieves it or not. If your child fails never make fun of him/her in front of anyone or even if there is no one around.
Provide your child healthy diet and hygiene
Give your child a healthy diet at the right time. Growing brains need a proper nutrition. Keeping your children eating right and staying active should be your priority. Make sure your child gets:
3 daily meals and healthy snacks in between, breakfast is the most important of them all
a good sleep and a proper routine to follow,
physical activity including exercise, aerobics or games,
do not allow your child to play video games for more than half an hour as it makes children physically inactive.
Make them live hygienically and you can do this only when you set an example for them. Proper vaccination and regular medical and dental checkups are important.
Work on your weaknesses
You are not perfect, no parents are. Try to find out your positive traits and negative aspects as well in your personality. Give yourself credit for loving your child selflessly and dedication. Don't blame yourself if you don't have all the answers.
Focusing on your own needs doesn't make you selfish. It shows that you are careful about your own wellbeing as well as your family
Spare some time for yourself and your spouse
Dealing with children keeps parents busy the whole day. Try to finish all your household chores early or set them aside for some time in order to relax, have a chat with your spouse or go for a walk to get ready for the upcoming parenting tasks. Never hesitate to get professional advice if you need it.
Parents from all over the world have different ideas of what is the best for their children. Differences in values results in interpretation of different actions, e.g. asking questions by Americans is considered a sign of being intellectual, Italians, who value social and emotional abilities consider asking questions as good interpersonal skills. Dutch who value independence, view asking questions negatively as a sign that child is not independent. In Pakistan majority of the parents are not familiar with the term of "good parenting". They treat their children in the same way as they were treated by their parents once they were children. Many recall how their parents made decisions based on their own experiences.
Mostly Pakistani parents are authoritarian. They set rules and expect for them to be followed. They in general are not very warm and affectionate to their children. Even they love their children but are very critical. Such parents give a very tough time you their child and they lack the ability to take decisions.
Gender discrimination is another major hindrance in the way of good parenting in Pakistan as in most of the families boys are given preference over girls. Due to socio-economic conditions of the major part of the population, parents prefer to provide better education, food and health facilities to boys as compared to girls.
Majority of the population is aware of what is meant by healthy and hygienic environment for children and for themselves. Children are not properly vaccinated or get their routine medical or dental checkups. Illiteracy and poverty are two main reasons for this lack of care and ultimately health & nutrition issues.
Selasa, 03 September 2013
Why Are You Not Happy?
As I look back over my life and think about all I had went through as a child and how I endured it throughout my life, I cannot take the credit but it was my faith; stability and my mom being honest with me on what was happening in our family. Many of times we leave the child clueless and thoughtless because; we feel like they are not old enough to handle it or if we keep it away from them they will not notice anything. When you are being selfish and thinking what you are doing is best for the child, they are growing up with hurt and resentment. They grow up thinking what happen? And we find ourselves not ready to answer the questions.
When I speak to clients many express they are not happy and they recall the events that happened in their lives. As a Life Coach, I constantly have to build their confidence and trust to let them know I will be honest with you and will make you feel comfortable. Many sit in silence, they cry, or want to hit something to take the pain away. Once their emotions have passed, we go back to the very day when their happy were taken away from them. Many start off saying when I was five, six, seven and etc. I remember when my family was broken, my dad or mom was taken to jail or I witness an event in our household. They explained when I wanted answers, I could not get it because; the family did not think I would be able to process it. This made me felt like I was an outcast and I could not express my feelings to them. They understood but could not grasp what was going on and wanted someone to break it down to their understanding. They have went through life wanting to understand what happened and why did it took place.
Allow the child to grieve as they know how. We would be surprise to know how well they handle it or if they may need counseling. Allowing them to grow-up with the hurt is not giving them a chance to grow-up properly and they start acting out as they get of age. Having various types of therapeutic activities for them gives them a chance to express themselves and for you to understand what they are thinking about. As the adult you would be avoiding any questions, family hurt and secrets down the road. The child is able to grow-up and to understand life phases so, when it happens again they know what to expect.
Senin, 02 September 2013
Coaching and Mentoring Teens: Friends and Family Time
As our children grow and mature, we often find ourselves longing after more family time. However, our children push family away in favor of spending more time with friends. As our kids struggle to establish their freedom, it can cause some very challenging times.
How can you create more balance between friend time and family time?
One of the first things to do is to let go of any expectation.
Do not hope for any specific outcome regarding when and how a new "family-friend" balance will happen. Learn to "go with the flow."
What does that really mean? In essence, it means allowing your children to have their freedom and their friend time while making your own wants known. In other words, you need to ask for what you want because you cannot expect your teens to automatically know you want more family time.
You may recognize that your teens want to spend more time after school and on weekends with their friends. Family activities you used to do together are no longer valued by your teens. If this is the case, then it is time to sit down and talk about the situation with your teens.
Let your teens know that you understand they want to spend more time with friends and that it is a perfectly normal desire for kids their age. Then make sure you let them know that you still want to spend time together as a family, too.
Engage them in discussion about how you can work out the situation in a balanced way. Many times your teens will try to work it out in their own way and within their own parameters because we all have differing degrees of social needs.
It does not always go as planned and sometimes it is important to set some ground rules. Keep in mind that all coaching and mentoring should be done in a respectful manner. It is important to respect their needs, wants and fun time. When you allow them to spend enough time with their friends, you are demonstrating that you support their quest for freedom.
You may have to schedule family time for a while. Think about scheduling a dinner meal together every night or on the weekends, or perhaps a game or movie night.
Over time, as they become more secure in their own freedom, it is likely that they will be able to create their own balance between family and friend time and they will even come to value the family activities as they did in the past.
Minggu, 01 September 2013
Stress Management Tools For Stay-At-Home Moms
When I decided on being a stay-at-home mom, I pictured all of the good things that I imagined came along with the role; kissing little toes, hearing those first words, and teaching the art of tying shoelaces. I knew there were less than pleasant duties that came with the around-the-clock occupation, but I could never fully conceive of the extent of work that was involved.
I never regret my decision - it's a wonderful calling - but sometimes it feels thankless. When's the last time I was really recognized for my work, given a raise, or awarded an incentive trip? Besides hugs, kisses and the odd thank-you, there's no big year-end bonus in this job. For this reason, stay-at-home moms need to take care of themselves first. Of course, a supportive partner is a big help, but unless you look out for numero uno, you will feel unhappy and resentful of your family. Take some pressure off and create a better balance in your life and you will enjoy your "job" so much more.
Embrace Nap Jail
Nap Jail is the term some moms use to describe nap time at home. We all whine about it, but really, what's not to like? Depending on the age of your children, you could potentially have up to four hours of time to yourself. Preserve the at-home nap for as long as you can and make time for you. Sleep if you need it, have a cup of tea while browsing online, take a long hot shower, but whatever you do... don't clean!
Seek Out Fresh Air (and Sunlight if Possible)
Get yourself outside at least once a day with your children. Walk to the park, sit out in the yard, build a snowman, and inhale the fresh air. Vitamin D is important, especially in colder climes, so get out there if the sun is shining, and see how it lifts your spirits.
Connect with Others
Social media is my saviour. It allows me to stay connected to friends and family, and especially colleagues since I don't have a water cooler to stand beside. When I'm craving some adult interaction, I use Facebook, Twitter and Instagram as my mediums of choice.
When the baby and toddler stages are over, things become more manageable and you will find personal balance is easier to achieve. Remember to stay positive and if you feel yourself slipping, pull out those cute baby photos, cuddle up and read with your kids, hug your partner, and smile, for tomorrow is a bright new day.
Jumat, 16 Agustus 2013
A Mother's Advice
What lessons would you want your children to remember if this was you last day together? I lost my mother when my children were just three and four years old. As my daughters entered their teen years, I realized there was so much I wish I had asked my mother. I was so fortunate to have had such a good role model growing up and that made me realize that I wanted to be the best parent I could be for my children. As parents, we all want our children to harness the positive energy that will lead to healthy and happy lives, but how do we facilitate that? How can we effectively demonstrate the importance of life's lessons?
Following the death of my mother, I realized that even though she was gone physically, her words and actions still guided me. She had already shown me how to navigate through life and I knew I could do the same for my children. So, how can we take the best of our own parents advice and make it work with this generation?
Actions: The first thing to remember is that words don't teach as effectively as actions. The behaviors and ideals we wish to see in our children are things we, as parents, should be modeling ourselves. For me, this has been the biggest learning experience as a parent. When you see certain attitudes and behaviors do you immediately recognize that your kids are mirroring back your vices? This illustrates just how important our actions are to our children!
Self-Esteem: I think a common thread that weaves its way through all of life's lessons is self-esteem. This trait can't be taught, but we can help our children, from the beginning of early childhood, to have a good self-image. As a mother of two daughters, how often have I stood in front of the mirror and criticized something about my appearance? When we do this, what message are we sending to our kids? If parents want our children to feel beautiful just as they are, we need to model that behavior for them.
We can teach our children to look in the mirror and not find fault, but rather, shift their perspective to things they appreciate about their features. The more teens can compliment their own appearance, the easier it will be for them to find things they do like about themselves, both externally and internally.
Self-image: Today, more than ever, teens are bombarded with information and images of what's "in" and "cool". As they sort through all the ideas available to them, it's important for parents to let your children know it is OK to be an individual! A solid self-image is the cornerstone for any healthy person and we all deserve to feel good about ourselves. Teach your children that feeling good about one's self comes from inside. Though this can be a tough concept for our children to grasp, we can help by encouraging them to turn off the ads and stimuli for a time during each day and just think about who they want to be as a person. If they unplug from their computers and TVs, they can take some time to do more creative activities like journaling or drawing which will help them to explore their own style.
And so we point back to good self-esteem as the foundation for making good choices in life. People that feel good about how they are perceived, generally take better care of themselves. Teens who are secure in their appearance and personality are much less likely to engage in dangerous behaviors because they have a healthy self-esteem and respect for themselves and their bodies. They are more comfortable being individuals regardless of peer-pressure.
Be Yourself: This is an important lesson for all of us to remember. Humans are social creatures and, as such, we want to be accepted by our peers. Our children need to know the benefits of being a unique individual. For example, when they are comfortable being themselves, people that share like interests are more likely to gravitate towards each other. Being around people who reflect our positive attributes will likely bring more happiness and success into their lives. Teach your children to choose friends who uplift them and with whom they can enjoy life.
Find Things You Love to Do: Doing things you love and finding others that share those interests are very important for our teens. Finding clubs, hobbies, and groups that give them a sense of belonging and meaning helps to not only build a sense of community, but also builds important self-esteem. As parents, we can help them to explore some possibly hidden talents they may have. Being involved in afterschool activities or even volunteer work outside of school helps to round out a teen's life and make them feel like they are contributing to something positive.
Respect Differences: As our young people learn to love and respect themselves, they need to recognize that everyone has that same right. Teens will most likely meet people in life that do things differently than they do or that may have differing beliefs, so teach your children that diversity is what makes the world an interesting, vibrant place. Show them how embracing, respecting and accepting differences can enrich their own lives.
Control what you can: A teenager's life is full of challenges; hormonal changes and social pressures are just some of the issues facing our kids! It's so important for children to learn that there is only so much they can control. The most important things they get to control are their thoughts and reactions to situations.
Thoughts are very powerful and they can be used to uplift or drag you down. When you realize that you are in the driver's seat and you get to control which train your thoughts get on, it's a powerful notion. We can help our teens realize that they are in control of this aspect of their lives.
Stop the negative self-talk: Even as adults, we all have a lot of chatter that goes on in our heads. If we take a moment to notice whether our self-talk serves us or defeats us, we can make the conscious effort to be more choosey about our thoughts. We really do become what we think. Why not practice thinking good thoughts that uplift us?!
What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger: The most profound growth in anyone's life comes during a period of perceived struggle. Everything we experience in life serves the purpose of clarifying what we want from our own life. So, when we're experiencing a difficult moment, as we work through it, we are growing and learning. I always remind my children to look back at times past and moments that seemed so traumatic. As they recall them, they also remember that they got through those times. They worked through those issues and they came out on the other side; wiser and stronger!
My daughters navigate through their lives easier by realizing that they are not alone. They are not the first people to be feeling or experiencing hardship and they won't be the last. We need to show our children that they have all the tools they need to get through anything that life offers. Every person experiences a nice mixture of good times and not so good times. That is the nature of life.
Keep a Positive Attitude: As our children surf through life's waves, we can help them to try to look for the positive. In any situation, there are positive aspects and some not so positive moments. Teach your children to train their focus. They get to decide where they put their attention. Look for the bright side in any circumstance, to the best of your ability, and you can do anything you put your mind to.
Our children will be faced with many challenges throughout their lives, but if they can get into the habit of focusing on the brightest side of any circumstance, they can improve the quality of their lives. The more they practice, the easier it gets and, the easier it gets, the more at peace they will become.
Simplicity in Your Present Moment: Which brings me to my final point, look around you and appreciate all the simple, good things in your lives right now. We are so blessed and the more we can look around us and recognize how lucky we are, the more goodness we allow into our lives. We're never too young or old to learn that lesson.
So, as we grow as parents, don't let moments pass you by that can serve as teaching moments for you and your children. Start now by making positive changes in your own lives so that you can be a positive role model for your children. Listen to the advice of trusted elders. Even though times have changed, people are still people. The basic issues our teens face today are quite similar feeling-wise to those we faced and our parents faced. Just as I hear my mother's words as plainly as if she were alive and right beside me, someday your children will hear yours as well. Make the most of your time together!
Rabu, 14 Agustus 2013
How to Split Your Time Between Your New Spouse and His Children
Marrying someone who already has children can be a blessing, but it can also be a nightmare. It's a nightmare when you have to deal with an insecure ex. But you know the heart wants what the heart wants, and sometimes you have to take the bad with the good. So you want to make the most of it and be careful not to step on anyone's toes when you become the stepparent.
But hey, you just got married here and you want to make sure you are spending time with your new spouse. Here are some tips for splitting your time between your new spouse and his/her children.
1. Always understand that you won't always be #1. Yes, when you get married it's supposed to be about you and your spouse and everything is centered around you. But when you have children, that tends to go out the window. Your spouse has had time to get used to splitting his emotions and sharing his heart. Now you have to understand that you won't always come first, and really you shouldn't want to.
This doesn't mean you should never be #1, but your new spouse does have other people counting on him and sometimes you have to be prepared to step back and wait your turn.
2. Spend time with the child. Set up some one-on-one time, but also enjoy your new spouse with his kids. It might not be the romantic date night you envisioned, but it shouldn't matter so long as you're spending time with your new spouse. And he will appreciate your effort in taking the time to make his child feel special and respecting the time he has with his child.
3. Set a date night. Make sure your spouse sees this time as a priority. It's hard to split your time between kids and a spouse, but it's important. Get creative. Wait until the kids are in bed if need be. Steal away time during your lunch break. Just make sure you're finding time to be a couple.
4. Make it clear to your spouse and his children that you want him to spend time with his children too. You're not in competition here. You can allow them to have one-on-one time with no hurt feelings.
5. Take a walk with your spouse. It's amazing how much can be hashed out on a walk around the neighborhood.
6. Take a vacation. Plan something for a time when your spouse's children will be with another parent. Just make it a priority to get away together.
7. Enjoy the little things. A busy life might make it hard to find time together, but stealing away a few moments here and there by cooking a meal together or doing tasks you enjoy doing together around the house can have a real bonding effect - in spite of all of the craziness of a house with children, even when they are not your own.
Starting a marriage off with children from a previous marriage is a balancing act. But establishing a good stable home life is important for everyone involved, especially the children. So be there, but don't be needy and always understand that your spouse can have room in his heart to love you and his children.
However, if you're ever getting to the point where you're feeling neglected, make sure to take your spouse aside (away from the children) and let him know how you're feeling and suggest doing some of the things listed above to reconnect. He should appreciate your honesty about how you're feeling and want to accommodate you as best he can.
Marrying a person with children doesn't have to be a deal breaker as long as you're willing to work at it, and so is the other person.
I had a great time writing this article. I hope you enjoyed it. I look forward to being in touch with you again. Yours Marc.
I know. And you are about to know. The one primary source. Of all disease. And the cause. Of the capacity for violence. I have single handedly. Gone on a Sherlock Holmes like. Inner. And outer. Journey. Of exploration. Of what we know. And. What. We did not know. Bringing it all together. With twists. Rivaling. The best Hollywood plot. And bestseller novel.
But hey, you just got married here and you want to make sure you are spending time with your new spouse. Here are some tips for splitting your time between your new spouse and his/her children.
1. Always understand that you won't always be #1. Yes, when you get married it's supposed to be about you and your spouse and everything is centered around you. But when you have children, that tends to go out the window. Your spouse has had time to get used to splitting his emotions and sharing his heart. Now you have to understand that you won't always come first, and really you shouldn't want to.
This doesn't mean you should never be #1, but your new spouse does have other people counting on him and sometimes you have to be prepared to step back and wait your turn.
2. Spend time with the child. Set up some one-on-one time, but also enjoy your new spouse with his kids. It might not be the romantic date night you envisioned, but it shouldn't matter so long as you're spending time with your new spouse. And he will appreciate your effort in taking the time to make his child feel special and respecting the time he has with his child.
3. Set a date night. Make sure your spouse sees this time as a priority. It's hard to split your time between kids and a spouse, but it's important. Get creative. Wait until the kids are in bed if need be. Steal away time during your lunch break. Just make sure you're finding time to be a couple.
4. Make it clear to your spouse and his children that you want him to spend time with his children too. You're not in competition here. You can allow them to have one-on-one time with no hurt feelings.
5. Take a walk with your spouse. It's amazing how much can be hashed out on a walk around the neighborhood.
6. Take a vacation. Plan something for a time when your spouse's children will be with another parent. Just make it a priority to get away together.
7. Enjoy the little things. A busy life might make it hard to find time together, but stealing away a few moments here and there by cooking a meal together or doing tasks you enjoy doing together around the house can have a real bonding effect - in spite of all of the craziness of a house with children, even when they are not your own.
Starting a marriage off with children from a previous marriage is a balancing act. But establishing a good stable home life is important for everyone involved, especially the children. So be there, but don't be needy and always understand that your spouse can have room in his heart to love you and his children.
However, if you're ever getting to the point where you're feeling neglected, make sure to take your spouse aside (away from the children) and let him know how you're feeling and suggest doing some of the things listed above to reconnect. He should appreciate your honesty about how you're feeling and want to accommodate you as best he can.
Marrying a person with children doesn't have to be a deal breaker as long as you're willing to work at it, and so is the other person.
I had a great time writing this article. I hope you enjoyed it. I look forward to being in touch with you again. Yours Marc.
I know. And you are about to know. The one primary source. Of all disease. And the cause. Of the capacity for violence. I have single handedly. Gone on a Sherlock Holmes like. Inner. And outer. Journey. Of exploration. Of what we know. And. What. We did not know. Bringing it all together. With twists. Rivaling. The best Hollywood plot. And bestseller novel.
Kamis, 08 Agustus 2013
Children of Trauma and the School Response
For children who have undergone trauma, transitioning from a caregiving environment to an educational environment, is, at best, a challenge, and at worst, a daily nightmare.
Going to School
In the early years, screaming and clinging children are expected to cease and desist from this behavior as soon as mom is out of sight. So often, they don't. Instead they collapse in a heap on the floor or lash out physically against teachers, caregivers and other children. Unless the child has trauma-understanding teachers and caregivers this will begin their descent into an ongoing childhood of one difficulty after another in their school career until they drop out, age out, or barely graduate.
Teachers Are Key to Reaching Children of Trauma
Teachers are not being taught how to work with the child of trauma and they are under the gun to teach in classrooms full of children whose brains are not ready to learn. Whoever is making policy has ignored the body of knowledge about stress and its effect on our children, which is sabotaging our educational system. The teacher/child relationship makes a difference; one way or another.
I have met great teachers whose love for these children kept them in school even when they struggled to learn. In the shelter of this love, children of trauma find an oasis in the desert of their lives. They still have difficulties, but they found external resources to keep them going.
On the other hand, I have met teachers who were not so great and their judgment of these children was like an arrow in the children's hearts. The children react by coming out fighting for their lives.
We are a society that does not understand the relationship between stress experienced by a child and its effect on that child's development. Children in school are misunderstood and their difficult behaviors and attitudes are judged harshly. Sad for me to say but, in this neck of the woods, even when administrators know that children have been traumatized, they still give "licks" as punishment for misbehavior that is deemed consciously chosen.
Understanding the Traumatized or Troubled Child
I don't know when there will be a better understanding that punishing a traumatized child, especially physically, is perpetrating more violence on a small, helpless already-assaulted body. It is not a teaching or calming interaction and, though it may work temporarily, the damage to the spirit and soul of that child is unseen and immeasurable. It verifies to the child that they are 'bad'.
Peter Levine, who has worked in the field of trauma for over 30 years states, "Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness." His and others' research has demonstrated that trauma happens first at the level of the body, and the emotions and mind follow.
The education system still works at the level of cognition when it comes to traumatized children's behaviors; unknowingly this keeps them stuck in a trauma-reactive system. Educators' lack of understanding that children with these difficult behaviors are reacting from a place of not feeling safe, is an unconscious reaction and not a choice.
What these children need are environments of understanding adults who can help them navigate to a place of feeling safe and secure. They need to understand this is possible and doable because the same biological system that leads one into a traumatic state due to environmental factors is connected to another biological system that can calm the traumatized one when the environment reflects safety.
A traumatized child is a child who lives in fear and whose basic belief is that, "The world is not safe. Adults are not safe. I am not safe."
How Can I Help a Traumatized Child?
As you interact with children of trauma, whether you are a parent, caregiver, or educator, ask yourself, "Is what I am about to do with this child teaching them I am a safe person? That they can count on me? Or I'm just another mean-faced, scary, hurtful adult?"
What parents, caregivers, and teachers can do to help children feel safe:
Understand that a behavior is a consequence of feelings and needs. Trauma-reactive behaviors are indicators that the child is overwhelmed, doesn't feel safe, and can't manage their behavior. (Again this is not a choice.) Look for the child's underlying need: Is there too much stimulation in the room? Do they need to come and sit or stand by you for a moment to help them regulate? Do they need to go to the bathroom, but are having trouble transitioning from the game they are playing? Are they hungry? Are they tired?
Calm your own emotions about the child's behavior. Children who are aggressive, have an attitude or are defiant can trigger an adult's reaction regarding issues of respect, compliance, and "proper" behavior. Deal with your issues first, otherwise you will be triggered into trying to control the child. This will only lead to an escalation of their behavior and you will be in a negative feedback loop (giving negativity only leads to receiving negativity).
Remember that a child who is emotionally triggered does not have their thinking cap or their ears on. Wait until you and the child are calm. Then have a conversation about what happened. Ask them what happened and then listen to what they have to say. Then talk to them about what they need to do different the next time.
Have a safe space in the room and teach all your children at home or in the classroom that it is a place they can go to where they won't get in trouble and they can calm themselves down. Many traumatized children are aware of what they are feeling but they don't know what to do and once they are "there," they can't ask. You know that from your own experience. The important thing is to not get to that "there" place. Prevention is helpful with this.
Quietly without a lot of words direct the child away from the situation and have them sit close to you, then go back to what you are doing. This keeps the child from being isolated which is what a time out does. Instead you are giving them a time in while you go on about your business.
Sometimes the only thing you can do is the best you can to make sure everyone stays safe. If the child won't leave, have everyone else get away from them, leave the room or go to another part of the playground. This is not the time to try to show who is boss. You will learn it is not you.
Maintaining a routine and doing what you say you are going to do will help provide an ongoing repetition of safety.
Recognize you may not know what triggers a child into traumatizing behaviors. It could be a sight, a sound, something within them like a memory or a felt sense in their body. It could be a loud noise, someone's voice the child perceives as loud. See their reactions as communication of their need for safety and provide that to them.
Teach yourself and your child breathing exercises, yoga or put on soothing music.
Understand that traumatized children are more likely to get sick and have other health issues like asthma, headaches, and stomachaches and frequently need to go to the bathroom or have accidents. (I recently had two school age clients diagnosed with stomach migraines by their pediatricians. Never heard of it but I've worked with many children like them who have ongoing chronic headaches and severe stomach pains). Often these physical symptoms are discounted at home and school because the child is thought to be trying to get out of something or be manipulative. I did not find that to be so. If you study the neurophysiology of trauma you will find ample evidence to change your mind.
Traumatized children, especially those of school-age, have multiple hurdles to jump and need adults to understand, listen, and hold the child accountable. Parents, teachers, and caregivers should help nurture the child to a calmer place so they can be ready to learn. Children of trauma really want to be like all the other kids: learning, growing, having fun and being loved.
Going to School
In the early years, screaming and clinging children are expected to cease and desist from this behavior as soon as mom is out of sight. So often, they don't. Instead they collapse in a heap on the floor or lash out physically against teachers, caregivers and other children. Unless the child has trauma-understanding teachers and caregivers this will begin their descent into an ongoing childhood of one difficulty after another in their school career until they drop out, age out, or barely graduate.
Teachers Are Key to Reaching Children of Trauma
Teachers are not being taught how to work with the child of trauma and they are under the gun to teach in classrooms full of children whose brains are not ready to learn. Whoever is making policy has ignored the body of knowledge about stress and its effect on our children, which is sabotaging our educational system. The teacher/child relationship makes a difference; one way or another.
I have met great teachers whose love for these children kept them in school even when they struggled to learn. In the shelter of this love, children of trauma find an oasis in the desert of their lives. They still have difficulties, but they found external resources to keep them going.
On the other hand, I have met teachers who were not so great and their judgment of these children was like an arrow in the children's hearts. The children react by coming out fighting for their lives.
We are a society that does not understand the relationship between stress experienced by a child and its effect on that child's development. Children in school are misunderstood and their difficult behaviors and attitudes are judged harshly. Sad for me to say but, in this neck of the woods, even when administrators know that children have been traumatized, they still give "licks" as punishment for misbehavior that is deemed consciously chosen.
Understanding the Traumatized or Troubled Child
I don't know when there will be a better understanding that punishing a traumatized child, especially physically, is perpetrating more violence on a small, helpless already-assaulted body. It is not a teaching or calming interaction and, though it may work temporarily, the damage to the spirit and soul of that child is unseen and immeasurable. It verifies to the child that they are 'bad'.
Peter Levine, who has worked in the field of trauma for over 30 years states, "Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness." His and others' research has demonstrated that trauma happens first at the level of the body, and the emotions and mind follow.
The education system still works at the level of cognition when it comes to traumatized children's behaviors; unknowingly this keeps them stuck in a trauma-reactive system. Educators' lack of understanding that children with these difficult behaviors are reacting from a place of not feeling safe, is an unconscious reaction and not a choice.
What these children need are environments of understanding adults who can help them navigate to a place of feeling safe and secure. They need to understand this is possible and doable because the same biological system that leads one into a traumatic state due to environmental factors is connected to another biological system that can calm the traumatized one when the environment reflects safety.
A traumatized child is a child who lives in fear and whose basic belief is that, "The world is not safe. Adults are not safe. I am not safe."
How Can I Help a Traumatized Child?
As you interact with children of trauma, whether you are a parent, caregiver, or educator, ask yourself, "Is what I am about to do with this child teaching them I am a safe person? That they can count on me? Or I'm just another mean-faced, scary, hurtful adult?"
What parents, caregivers, and teachers can do to help children feel safe:
Understand that a behavior is a consequence of feelings and needs. Trauma-reactive behaviors are indicators that the child is overwhelmed, doesn't feel safe, and can't manage their behavior. (Again this is not a choice.) Look for the child's underlying need: Is there too much stimulation in the room? Do they need to come and sit or stand by you for a moment to help them regulate? Do they need to go to the bathroom, but are having trouble transitioning from the game they are playing? Are they hungry? Are they tired?
Calm your own emotions about the child's behavior. Children who are aggressive, have an attitude or are defiant can trigger an adult's reaction regarding issues of respect, compliance, and "proper" behavior. Deal with your issues first, otherwise you will be triggered into trying to control the child. This will only lead to an escalation of their behavior and you will be in a negative feedback loop (giving negativity only leads to receiving negativity).
Remember that a child who is emotionally triggered does not have their thinking cap or their ears on. Wait until you and the child are calm. Then have a conversation about what happened. Ask them what happened and then listen to what they have to say. Then talk to them about what they need to do different the next time.
Have a safe space in the room and teach all your children at home or in the classroom that it is a place they can go to where they won't get in trouble and they can calm themselves down. Many traumatized children are aware of what they are feeling but they don't know what to do and once they are "there," they can't ask. You know that from your own experience. The important thing is to not get to that "there" place. Prevention is helpful with this.
Quietly without a lot of words direct the child away from the situation and have them sit close to you, then go back to what you are doing. This keeps the child from being isolated which is what a time out does. Instead you are giving them a time in while you go on about your business.
Sometimes the only thing you can do is the best you can to make sure everyone stays safe. If the child won't leave, have everyone else get away from them, leave the room or go to another part of the playground. This is not the time to try to show who is boss. You will learn it is not you.
Maintaining a routine and doing what you say you are going to do will help provide an ongoing repetition of safety.
Recognize you may not know what triggers a child into traumatizing behaviors. It could be a sight, a sound, something within them like a memory or a felt sense in their body. It could be a loud noise, someone's voice the child perceives as loud. See their reactions as communication of their need for safety and provide that to them.
Teach yourself and your child breathing exercises, yoga or put on soothing music.
Understand that traumatized children are more likely to get sick and have other health issues like asthma, headaches, and stomachaches and frequently need to go to the bathroom or have accidents. (I recently had two school age clients diagnosed with stomach migraines by their pediatricians. Never heard of it but I've worked with many children like them who have ongoing chronic headaches and severe stomach pains). Often these physical symptoms are discounted at home and school because the child is thought to be trying to get out of something or be manipulative. I did not find that to be so. If you study the neurophysiology of trauma you will find ample evidence to change your mind.
Traumatized children, especially those of school-age, have multiple hurdles to jump and need adults to understand, listen, and hold the child accountable. Parents, teachers, and caregivers should help nurture the child to a calmer place so they can be ready to learn. Children of trauma really want to be like all the other kids: learning, growing, having fun and being loved.
Senin, 05 Agustus 2013
Factors in Divorce
Recent evidence from a 20 year study of families who have experienced divorce make it very clear that many efforts as a part of a divorce settlement which seeks to specify and set into a legal code the contact between children and their parents as well as expanded family members can and will have disastrous impacts on children. Children's live experiences are not always such that fit neatly and nicely into a schedule which has to room for modification and adjustment. The impact that divorce decrees have on children is long lasting, not easily dealt with and can create negative growth situations even for the children of the children of the children involved.
A set of parents may make the decision that they no longer wish to be married and the courts will assist them to do so. BUT the court system and the officers thereof MUST act in a truly professional manner and take the well being and future of these children into account. Sometimes the parents and even extended family members will engage in a battle to settle their differences and use the children as pawns in that battle. Parents and all parties involved need to be encouraged to rise above their own petty ego and vengeance needs and carefully consider the welfare of the children involved.
Attorneys must resist the temptation to see a messy divorce situation as a way of spending more time and effort and therefore making more money for themselves byh aiding and abetting a vengeful battle. Encourage both parents to settle their differences without a prolonged battle and without infringing on each parent's access to the children.
The research is particularly specific in regard to the need for a continuing relationship between the children and their biological father. The absence of this relationship will have a profound negative impact on the development of healthy self-esteem in the children involved. The court should work to avoid substituting legal language and easily written schedules which may appear to be unbiased and fair in a legal sense but which do not account for the specific and individualized growth and development needs of the children involved. In many cases, older children in particular may need to be given the option of determining of their own accord what kinds of visitation and access works for them and what really is in their own best interest.
It seems clear from my own professional experience that many attorneys have done a great service in encouraging divorcing couples to settle their differences in such a way as to not damage the children. Often this is done in such a way that the attorney might even not receive as high a fee as he or she would have received had they encouraged conflict. On the other hand, I have seen couples and families who may have been able to reestablish their marriage or at least a friendly relationship so that the children would not have to be caught in the middle if it were not for the absolute insistence of one or more of the attorneys involved to "make sure you get everything that you deserve," or "Don't' give in to your emotions now that you have him or her exactly where you have always wanted him or her." Of what great value is it when at the end of a long and lengthy court battle one or more of the parents is so deeply in debt that they cannot even afford reasonable food and housing for their children? If there are serious parental inadequacies which are potentially damaging to children this may be more appropriately an issue for Child Protective Services not the divorce court.
All individuals who find themselves involved in any level with the problems of and process of a divorce should familiarize themselves with the findings of the research of Dr. Judith Wallerstein. The evidence seems to conclude that very few if any problems are solved by divorce and many more are created by the legal battle involved in the divorce process. One set of problems are simply exchanged for completely different set of problems. The individuals most directly involved need help in understanding the implications of their decisions and how best to deal with those implications in their own life and of the lives of their children. Too often divorce is somehow expected to be a solution to existing problems but only serves to create more problems that were not expected. Parents and others involved in the divorce process should understand all aspects of the situation and not go into it blind - only finding out the real truth of the matter after it is too late to do anything about it.
In her book Second Chances as well as The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce Dr. Wallterstein describes the results of her study of the impact of divorce on children and adults. Contrary to her expectations she found that when she conducted follow-up interviews most families were still in crisis. Their wounds were wide open. Turmoil and distress had not noticeably subsided. Many adults still felt angry, humiliated, and rejected, and most had not gotten their lives back together. An unexpectedly large number of children were on a downward course. Their symptoms were worse than before. Their behavior at school was worse. Their peer relationships were worse. The illusion she had held - that divorce can bring an end to marital conflict - was shattered. She observes:
"Divorce has ripple effects that touch not just the family involved, but our entire society. As the writer Pat Conroy observed when his own marriage broke up, "Each divorce is the death of a small civilization." When one family divorces, that divorce affects relatives, friends, neighbors, employers, teachers, clergy, and scores of strangers. Although more people stay married than get divorced, divorce is not a them versus us problem: in one way or another, has been touched by it. Today, all relationships between men and women are profoundly influenced by the high incidence of divorce. Children from intact families are jittery about divorce. Teachers from all over the country tell me that their students come to school wide-eyed with fear, saying that their parents quarreled the night before and asking in terror, "Does that mean they are going to divorce?" Radical changes in family life affect all families, homes, parents, children, courtships, and marriages, silently altering the social fabric of the entire society."
Sometimes two simple questions needs to be asked of litigants in a divorce case: "What do you really hope to gain from all of this?" and "What is the long term impact of what you seek on the well being and development of the children involved?" The wishes and needs of children need to be considered in all decisions and agreements. It may sound fair to award visitation to parents on an every other weekend basis from Saturday morning to Sunday night. But what impact might that have on the religious life of a child or even an entire family where a religious affiliation is an important of their stability, growth and well being. Attending one religious affiliation on one week and another one the following week is more likely to engender confusion, instability and emotional as well as spiritual distress all in the name of equal distribution. Perhaps it takes the wisdom of Solomon. Remember? Two women claimed a child and to settle the conflict he offered to slice the child into two parts so that each of them might have their portion. He knew immediately which mother had the best interests of the child at heart by her quick reaction to stop such an action. It may be perfectly acceptable for some children to have a "required" visitation on a school night but for others it may destroy their ability to succeed in school. There must be room for negotiation and modification to allow for the increasingly complicated schedule children find themselves in as they grow into their later teen years. Somehow the right of children to make decisions and make their own choices must be a reasonable part of the process and amenable to change rather then set into legalized stone.
A set of parents may make the decision that they no longer wish to be married and the courts will assist them to do so. BUT the court system and the officers thereof MUST act in a truly professional manner and take the well being and future of these children into account. Sometimes the parents and even extended family members will engage in a battle to settle their differences and use the children as pawns in that battle. Parents and all parties involved need to be encouraged to rise above their own petty ego and vengeance needs and carefully consider the welfare of the children involved.
Attorneys must resist the temptation to see a messy divorce situation as a way of spending more time and effort and therefore making more money for themselves byh aiding and abetting a vengeful battle. Encourage both parents to settle their differences without a prolonged battle and without infringing on each parent's access to the children.
The research is particularly specific in regard to the need for a continuing relationship between the children and their biological father. The absence of this relationship will have a profound negative impact on the development of healthy self-esteem in the children involved. The court should work to avoid substituting legal language and easily written schedules which may appear to be unbiased and fair in a legal sense but which do not account for the specific and individualized growth and development needs of the children involved. In many cases, older children in particular may need to be given the option of determining of their own accord what kinds of visitation and access works for them and what really is in their own best interest.
It seems clear from my own professional experience that many attorneys have done a great service in encouraging divorcing couples to settle their differences in such a way as to not damage the children. Often this is done in such a way that the attorney might even not receive as high a fee as he or she would have received had they encouraged conflict. On the other hand, I have seen couples and families who may have been able to reestablish their marriage or at least a friendly relationship so that the children would not have to be caught in the middle if it were not for the absolute insistence of one or more of the attorneys involved to "make sure you get everything that you deserve," or "Don't' give in to your emotions now that you have him or her exactly where you have always wanted him or her." Of what great value is it when at the end of a long and lengthy court battle one or more of the parents is so deeply in debt that they cannot even afford reasonable food and housing for their children? If there are serious parental inadequacies which are potentially damaging to children this may be more appropriately an issue for Child Protective Services not the divorce court.
All individuals who find themselves involved in any level with the problems of and process of a divorce should familiarize themselves with the findings of the research of Dr. Judith Wallerstein. The evidence seems to conclude that very few if any problems are solved by divorce and many more are created by the legal battle involved in the divorce process. One set of problems are simply exchanged for completely different set of problems. The individuals most directly involved need help in understanding the implications of their decisions and how best to deal with those implications in their own life and of the lives of their children. Too often divorce is somehow expected to be a solution to existing problems but only serves to create more problems that were not expected. Parents and others involved in the divorce process should understand all aspects of the situation and not go into it blind - only finding out the real truth of the matter after it is too late to do anything about it.
In her book Second Chances as well as The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce Dr. Wallterstein describes the results of her study of the impact of divorce on children and adults. Contrary to her expectations she found that when she conducted follow-up interviews most families were still in crisis. Their wounds were wide open. Turmoil and distress had not noticeably subsided. Many adults still felt angry, humiliated, and rejected, and most had not gotten their lives back together. An unexpectedly large number of children were on a downward course. Their symptoms were worse than before. Their behavior at school was worse. Their peer relationships were worse. The illusion she had held - that divorce can bring an end to marital conflict - was shattered. She observes:
"Divorce has ripple effects that touch not just the family involved, but our entire society. As the writer Pat Conroy observed when his own marriage broke up, "Each divorce is the death of a small civilization." When one family divorces, that divorce affects relatives, friends, neighbors, employers, teachers, clergy, and scores of strangers. Although more people stay married than get divorced, divorce is not a them versus us problem: in one way or another, has been touched by it. Today, all relationships between men and women are profoundly influenced by the high incidence of divorce. Children from intact families are jittery about divorce. Teachers from all over the country tell me that their students come to school wide-eyed with fear, saying that their parents quarreled the night before and asking in terror, "Does that mean they are going to divorce?" Radical changes in family life affect all families, homes, parents, children, courtships, and marriages, silently altering the social fabric of the entire society."
Sometimes two simple questions needs to be asked of litigants in a divorce case: "What do you really hope to gain from all of this?" and "What is the long term impact of what you seek on the well being and development of the children involved?" The wishes and needs of children need to be considered in all decisions and agreements. It may sound fair to award visitation to parents on an every other weekend basis from Saturday morning to Sunday night. But what impact might that have on the religious life of a child or even an entire family where a religious affiliation is an important of their stability, growth and well being. Attending one religious affiliation on one week and another one the following week is more likely to engender confusion, instability and emotional as well as spiritual distress all in the name of equal distribution. Perhaps it takes the wisdom of Solomon. Remember? Two women claimed a child and to settle the conflict he offered to slice the child into two parts so that each of them might have their portion. He knew immediately which mother had the best interests of the child at heart by her quick reaction to stop such an action. It may be perfectly acceptable for some children to have a "required" visitation on a school night but for others it may destroy their ability to succeed in school. There must be room for negotiation and modification to allow for the increasingly complicated schedule children find themselves in as they grow into their later teen years. Somehow the right of children to make decisions and make their own choices must be a reasonable part of the process and amenable to change rather then set into legalized stone.
Why Is It Good to Use a Baby Monitor?
If you have a lot of things to do, whether in your house or at your office, you might find no more time for your baby. Furthermore, babies really need to be taken cared of with much of your attention and time. If you are having a problem managing your time for your baby, then it is time for you to avail a baby monitor. To know more about this, all you have to do is to read this entire article.
When your baby is tucked in her or his crib and you're not always there to watch her or him, then having a baby monitor can really be a great help to you. If you are not a traditional type of a mother, then there is this new way to keep an eye to your baby, and that is with the use of a baby monitor. Below are the places on where you can put the baby monitor:
In the playroom
If your child is becoming a toddler and has his own playroom, having a baby monitor when she plays can let you check if your baby is safe while you are finishing the entire job around your house. If you put the monitor on while your baby is playing, you can hear her babble and giggle. Also, with the moment that it is too silent or when she cries, you can respond immediately to your child.
Put it in Baby Carrier
If there are cases that you need to run some errands or go to some events or meetings, you bring with you your baby carrier. You can put the baby monitor and turn it on if you need to ask any of your friends to watch over your baby while you are away for a short moment. When you are away from your baby, you can hear what is happening while you are away. It is also a great way if you will purchase a two-way kind of baby monitor. With it, you can hear your baby and at the same time, your baby can hear you as well.
Place it in the bathroom
When your child is growing and learning how to bathe themselves, you still need to keep an eye on them especially during the time they go to bath. By doing this, you can know what is happening in the bathroom while you are away. Just keep in mind to put the baby monitor in a safer place like above the shelves or away in the bathtub or the floor of the bathroom. You need also to orient your child not to touch the monitor for safety purposes.
Place one in bed
Once your child came from school and sick, then it is really a must for you to use a baby monitor. This is essential in order for you to know if your child needs you, if he needs something, or if you only want to monitor what he does when you are away.
There are many benefits that baby monitor can provide to you and to your child. All you need to do is to make sure that you purchase the right and perfect one that will cater to your needs.
Sabtu, 03 Agustus 2013
A New Kind of Poverty
Recently I had the opportunity to hear Dr. Jean Clinton, infant,
child and adolescent psychiatrist at McMaster University, speak. She
says there is a new kind of poverty emerging in our country that has
nothing to do with financial hardship. She calls it a "poverty of
relationships" and she says we have an epidemic on our hands.
Kids today are being raised by their peer group and not by the adults around them. As a result, kids are having fewer and fewer interactions with the adults in their lives and we are now beginning to see the effects of this impoverishment in our schools. Recent studies show that 41% of our children have overwhelming anxiety and 30% lose sleep because of their anxiety. Clinton says we don't need new programs to address the issue. We need a new way of thinking about the kind of relationships that kids have.
When we were young, we had lots of caring adults in our lives. These adults weren't glued to their technological gadgets like many adults are today. They didn't have any technological gadgets and they didn't have online selves that they needed to maintain. Instead, adults in our lives extended themselves mentally by interacting with us.
According to Clinton, adolescence today begins at 8 to 10 years of age. Massive changes occur in the adolescent brain and these changes continue until adolescents reach the age of 24 to 26 years old (and sometimes later in males). The adolescent brain is a brain "under construction." Clinton says it's a "magnificent" period for making connections with kids.
We are a social species and our brains are wired to connect with others. We need to feel a sense of belonging with others in order to be healthy. When we feel connected to others, our stress levels go down. With fewer adult connections in their lives today, kids are increasingly stressed and it's hard for them to easily experience new learning or to remember things. Many kids don't do well in school as result.
The solution to the poverty of relationships doesn't involve money. Surprisingly enough, it involves the eyes. Clinton says every child needs 5 adults whose eyes light up when they walk in a room.
So the next time you think about buying a gift for a child in your life, consider giving them the gift of your eyes instead. If every adult were to think about their relationships with kids in this way, we'd eliminate the poverty of relationships very quickly and we'd transform the lives of our kids.
To feel the effect of this new way of thinking, all you have to do is think about how you would feel if the eyes of the people you love lit up every time you walked in the room. It's a really wonderful feeling, isn't it?
Kids today are being raised by their peer group and not by the adults around them. As a result, kids are having fewer and fewer interactions with the adults in their lives and we are now beginning to see the effects of this impoverishment in our schools. Recent studies show that 41% of our children have overwhelming anxiety and 30% lose sleep because of their anxiety. Clinton says we don't need new programs to address the issue. We need a new way of thinking about the kind of relationships that kids have.
When we were young, we had lots of caring adults in our lives. These adults weren't glued to their technological gadgets like many adults are today. They didn't have any technological gadgets and they didn't have online selves that they needed to maintain. Instead, adults in our lives extended themselves mentally by interacting with us.
According to Clinton, adolescence today begins at 8 to 10 years of age. Massive changes occur in the adolescent brain and these changes continue until adolescents reach the age of 24 to 26 years old (and sometimes later in males). The adolescent brain is a brain "under construction." Clinton says it's a "magnificent" period for making connections with kids.
We are a social species and our brains are wired to connect with others. We need to feel a sense of belonging with others in order to be healthy. When we feel connected to others, our stress levels go down. With fewer adult connections in their lives today, kids are increasingly stressed and it's hard for them to easily experience new learning or to remember things. Many kids don't do well in school as result.
The solution to the poverty of relationships doesn't involve money. Surprisingly enough, it involves the eyes. Clinton says every child needs 5 adults whose eyes light up when they walk in a room.
So the next time you think about buying a gift for a child in your life, consider giving them the gift of your eyes instead. If every adult were to think about their relationships with kids in this way, we'd eliminate the poverty of relationships very quickly and we'd transform the lives of our kids.
To feel the effect of this new way of thinking, all you have to do is think about how you would feel if the eyes of the people you love lit up every time you walked in the room. It's a really wonderful feeling, isn't it?
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8096524
Jumat, 02 Agustus 2013
Dealing With Bad Attitude From Your Teen
Raising ungrateful teens isn't always what it looks like. Teens are wired different from anyone else. Sometimes they act like they are two years old, stomping their feet, slamming doors and just plain temper tantrum, then the next day they come in being sweet and helpful. It's such a confusing time for them as well as us parents. You never know who your dealing with. You almost want to ask them if you're dealing with the two year old or the teen. If your confused imagine how they are feeling, they are on hormone overload.
With that said some teens are just plain ungrateful. How did that happen? They have a mentality entitlement attitude, it's just how they are wired. The hard part about all of this is parents, you created these monsters. Don't feel bad, you just loving them and want them to have what we didn't. So why do you seem shocked when they act ungrateful? It's not just parents that indulge these kids, this Country is so focused on "being friends" and not parents to these kids and heaven forbid someone tell them no.
Teens scream and yell and slam things just to get what they want and they want it now! So much of the time they know if they keep arguing with you they will wear you down and they know eventually they will get what they want. They use what works and it usually does. They know that. It takes two to fight if you take yourself out of the equation they have no one to fight with. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Parents tend to change the way they parent as the teen gets older. They want to be their child's best friend and that just doesn't work. Just because they are young adults should not stop you from parenting, in fact it should go into overdrive.
Teens seem to expect to have everything their friends have and they have no true sense of what things cost.
So many parents find themselves in this situation. They are well meaning and loving parents. It seems that if the parents had a hard time growing up that the parents would want what was best and being their friend isn't what is best. So much of the time we overindulge our kids and therefore we have created these overindulged teens.
You can change some of these behaviors.
1. Stop the power struggle.
2. Stop rewarding them for inappropriate behaviors.
3. When you say no you mean no. You can't change your mind.
4. Stay calm and refuse to argue with them.
5. Your child has some great qualities. Praise them and reward them for appropriate behaviors.
6. Don't try to buy their love, it doesn't work.
Your job has changed from when they were little. Now your job is to raise loving, responsible adults. Don't bail them out of everything they get themselves into. Your not helping them. Let the try to figure out their own problems, then if they need help guide them to the right answer don't do it for them.
This is the time they need guidance but so many times parents want to make it easy for their child. They need to have chores to earn money. If you just give it out because your teen wants it makes it very difficult when they get out in the real world and they are told know about something they are not going to have a clue how to handle hearing no. Just remember this to will pass. We all thought the terrible two's were hard. You haven't seen anything yet. Get control now.
With that said some teens are just plain ungrateful. How did that happen? They have a mentality entitlement attitude, it's just how they are wired. The hard part about all of this is parents, you created these monsters. Don't feel bad, you just loving them and want them to have what we didn't. So why do you seem shocked when they act ungrateful? It's not just parents that indulge these kids, this Country is so focused on "being friends" and not parents to these kids and heaven forbid someone tell them no.
Teens scream and yell and slam things just to get what they want and they want it now! So much of the time they know if they keep arguing with you they will wear you down and they know eventually they will get what they want. They use what works and it usually does. They know that. It takes two to fight if you take yourself out of the equation they have no one to fight with. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Parents tend to change the way they parent as the teen gets older. They want to be their child's best friend and that just doesn't work. Just because they are young adults should not stop you from parenting, in fact it should go into overdrive.
Teens seem to expect to have everything their friends have and they have no true sense of what things cost.
So many parents find themselves in this situation. They are well meaning and loving parents. It seems that if the parents had a hard time growing up that the parents would want what was best and being their friend isn't what is best. So much of the time we overindulge our kids and therefore we have created these overindulged teens.
You can change some of these behaviors.
1. Stop the power struggle.
2. Stop rewarding them for inappropriate behaviors.
3. When you say no you mean no. You can't change your mind.
4. Stay calm and refuse to argue with them.
5. Your child has some great qualities. Praise them and reward them for appropriate behaviors.
6. Don't try to buy their love, it doesn't work.
Your job has changed from when they were little. Now your job is to raise loving, responsible adults. Don't bail them out of everything they get themselves into. Your not helping them. Let the try to figure out their own problems, then if they need help guide them to the right answer don't do it for them.
This is the time they need guidance but so many times parents want to make it easy for their child. They need to have chores to earn money. If you just give it out because your teen wants it makes it very difficult when they get out in the real world and they are told know about something they are not going to have a clue how to handle hearing no. Just remember this to will pass. We all thought the terrible two's were hard. You haven't seen anything yet. Get control now.
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